Unemployed? Jaded on traditional jobs? The world of job boards offers some bizarre alternatives for gig-searchers. Here are this week’s best:
1. India: Looking for QC Welders to Work in Saudi Arabia
Hey, we are looking for qc welders to work in companies in Saudi Arabia, these are the conditions:
1-2 years contract. Daily wok (sic) 10 hours or more overtime (1 by 1.5). Salery of 5000 Riyals in the first year. (USD $1,342)
When you arrive to Saudi Arabia we will provide you a place to stay in including meals, and we will pay for your medical examination plus getting you the necessary papers to work legaly in Saudi Arabia.
Translation: You will stay in a boarding house and work your buns off in searing desert heat. We will pay you little by Western standards, but a wage better than what you can get at home in India. You will rise early, weld, be very, very hot, sleep, and repeat.
2. Ireland: Decoy Agent
We are currently looking for persons to act as a decoy agent for a direct mailing company. The work is simply to date stamp mail that we send to you and then to return it to us once a month. The pay for this job is 50 EUR per month.
Apparently, a decoy agent receives and time-stamps mail to help companies ensure their direct marketing pieces arrive intact and in good condition. EUR50 per month to get even more junk mail in your mailbox. I wouldn’t do it.
3. SF Bay Area: GOT GOOD GENES?? Why Not Share?!
The Sperm Bank of California is looking for healthy men to become PAID SPERM DONORS. You can earn up to $1000/month, and help others create the loving families they dream of. Becoming a sperm donor means making a commitment to donate 1-3 times a week for 6-12 months. If you are accepted as a donor, you are paid $85-$100 for every usable sample you provide.
That’s a potential $300/week. If you do it for six months, you can make more than $7,000 for taking long, involved lunch breaks—assuming all your goods meet their standards.
* This is a part-time job. (I sure hope so.)
4. Oakland: Crematory Operator
Our world class state of the art crematory needs another operator to join our top notch team of death care professionals. This is a demanding job that requires an active person able to easily lift 50lbs with no trouble.
You will work 40 hours a week on our day shift inside the facility and drive our company vehicle as part of your daily job. Hours are typically Monday-Friday 8:00AM to 5:00PM.
Burning corpses for a living makes even full-time blogging look tame.
5. Lincoln, NE: Overcoming the Challenges of Becoming a Postal Work
Government Postal work can be most rewarding (for whom?) but involves many steps in becoming an employee of the USPS. There are positions available right now from Letter Carriers to Development Personnel at the U.S.P.S..
Applicants for most mail processing type jobs must take an exam. Exam information, position requirements, and job requirements are posted online for each position. Exam registration is available by phone or online in most cases. A passing score of 70 on?exams is expected.
* Compensation: TBD
* Telecommuting is ok.
The language in this ad is just so strange that I had to post it. First of all, becoming postal work—don’t you do that every time you send a letter? Also, Telecommuting is OK: I’d like to see that put into action.
6. New York: Oyster Shocker
Need a person for a privet dinner party 100 oysters about 1 hour from 7:30 PM to 8:30 Previous experience preferable but not necessary $30 plus tip
So you bash the oysters on a table, scare the heck out of them, and put them back on ice. Right?
7. Golden, Colorado: Old West Gunfighters
Looking for gunslingers to recreate the Shootout at the OK Corral for large annual event in Golden, Colorado, next month. Also – think you’re fast on the draw? Prove it at the Fast Draw Competition at same event.
Gunslingers live! I wonder how people get good at it in this day and age?
8. Denver, CO: Patchmaker Needed
I need a cusom (sic) patch made for a back pack. Embroidery or high quality screen print. I can’t get it made anywhere because the message has the “f” word in it. So, if you don’t mind a little swear word and you’d like to do this send me an e-mail with an idea of how much you’ll charge for supplies, labor.
Wonder what the f* the patch says?