Bullish For Maria Bartiromo’s Hair

I know I’m not the first to comment on the correlation between Maria Bartiromo’s hairstyle and the economy, but I feel we have an important opportunity here.  We’ve seen her go from the cropped professional good girl look to flouncy, to long and straight.  But recently, our favorite Woman of Wall Street has gone BIG. 

During times of economic recession, or even depression, what businesses do well?  It’s the little luxuries like movies and lipstick.  And what’s better to counteract a plummeting portfolio than a good hair day?  Maria’s new do is the nuveau Big Hair we’ve all been waiting for.  Stay tuned for revivals of Dallas and Dynasty.  She is definitely on the way to Texas Big. 

They say you should invest in what you know.  I know big hair.  As a child of the eighties, I can tell you it takes quite a load of spray, gel, lifter, and more spray to get hair to that height.  If Maria’s hair is any indicator, stocks in the consumer goods sector should soar.  If you have money any leftover after purchasing hair products, why not funnel some into Proctor and Gamble or better yet do a little research to find out who makes all those private label salon products.  Even the makers of Aqua Net are getting awfully optimistic – Faberge has agreed to purchase cosmetics brand Elizabeth Arden from Eli Lilly for $700 million.

In addition to all that goop, Big Hair requires equipment.  To get Maria’s look at home, I recommend big, fat hot rollers.  Alternately, highly skilled ambidextrous divas could opt for a round brush and hair dryer with settings for hot and cool air.  It’s not just Maria working the hair.  The feathered look is coming back too.  Everywhere you look women are emulating Farah.  Makers of gadgets should post high profits too.  Don’t forget the companies that make color and highlights.

In addition to the arsenal of hair maintenance accoutrements, there are all kind of eighties products to boost your collection of stocks.  Consider investing in companies who make or sell the following:

· Ray Ban sunglasses
· Izod polo shirts
· Jelly shoes
· Keds
· Skinny ties
· Atari video games
· Rubik’s Cube

Who says recession’s all bad?