What could be more enticing, more adventurous, and more romantic than a tale of outlaws in love?  Maybe you’re familiar with the lives of Bonnie and Clyde, the love-struck public enemies who led a bloody tour across America during the Great Depression.  They’ve left a legacy that has been immortalized in film, song, and stage, and set a precedent for romantically-charged crime sprees.  Here’s a list of some more notorious crooked couples — some sweet, some sad, and some downright horrific.

Bonnie Elizabeth Parker and Clyde Chestnut Barrow

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Our list begins with the most notorious romantic outlaws of all time: Bonnie and Clyde.  The pair met in Texas in 1930, right before Clyde was sent to jail for burglary.  Using a gun that Bonnie snuck in to the prison, he escaped, was rearrested, and eventually received parole in 1932.  By 1933, the pair had assembled a gang of five — including Clyde’s brother Ivan and his wife Blanche — who committed a gaggle of bold robberies.  Because of the sensational nature of the crimes (and the strength of Bonnie and Clyde’s love for each other), they made headlines from coast to coast.  Most of their crimes were larceny-related: carjackings, gas-station holdups, and, most famously, bank robberies.  It is estimated that they were responsible for the deaths of more than a dozen people, at least nine of them policemen.  Their rampage came to an abrupt halt in May of 1934, when they were shot down by police beside a stretch of highway near Sailes, Louisiana.

Belle and Sam Starr

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Back in frontier days, Belle Starr was one of the more notorious cattle rustlers of Indian Territory.  Starr (born Myra Maybelle Shirley) was a childhood friend of the infamous train robber Cole Younger, and often let him and his friends Frank and Jesse James hide out on her farm.  In 1880, she married Sam Starr and started a ranch in what is currently Oklahoma (it’s also when she started going by the nickname, “Belle”).  From there, the Starrs controlled a number of illegal operations, including bootlegging and planning and harboring “rustled” cattle and horses.  In 1883, Belle and Sam were each sentenced to a year in prison for horse theft — a surprisingly lenient sentence for a case presided over by Fort Smith, Arkansas’s “Hanging Judge” Isaac Parker.  Their romance ended when Sam Starr was killed in a gunfight in 1886.  Belle took up with one of his relatives, and was shot in the back while carrying home some groceries in 1889.  It was that year that a writer named Richard K. Fox wrote Bella Starr, The Bandit Queen, or The Female Jesse James, hurtling her into infamy.

Doc Holliday and Big Nose Kate

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Mary Katherine Horony Cummings, a Hungarian immigrant, and John Henry Holliday, a dentist (and, more notably, a gambler, gunfighter and tough guy) met in 1876 in Texas frontier country, fell in love, and settled together in Tombstone, Arizona.  Mary Katherine, who garnered the nicknames “Rowdy Kate” and “Big Nose Kate,” was said to have operated a bordello in the town, while John (Doc) Holliday made boatloads of money playing blackjack.  Nefarious deeds were afoot.  Doc and Kate were good friends with the lawman Wyatt Earp, and together Earp and and Holliday instigated what would become the most well-known battles in the history of the Old West—the gunfight at the O.K. Corral, in which thirty bullets were said to have been discharged in thirty seconds.  Both Doc and Big Nose Kate (who was supposedly out of town during the fight) were charged with murder, but both were exonerated.

Charles Starkweather and Caril Ann Fugate

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Raymond Fernandez, a former merchant marine and British Intelligence agent, met Martha Beck after responding to a personal ad she left in the newspaper.  Fernandez had made a habit of responding to “Lonely Hearts” ads, meeting with the women, and robbing them or forcing them to sign over their property.  Beck, a former undertaker who weighed more than 200 pounds, fell madly in love with him and became an eager participant in his scams.  Posing as his sister-in-law, she accompanied him to meet with lonely women, marry them, and steal their possessions.  Finally, in January of 1949, they murdered Janet Fay, one of the lonely women they were scamming.  A month passed before they shot Delphine Downing to death in front of her two-year-old child.  They were arrested at the end of February, and the press latched onto the story, dubbing them “The Lonely Hearts Killers.”  Fernandez later blamed his behavior on a head injury he sustained on a boat trip, and claimed that he had been trained in voodoo and black magic in a subsequent prison stay.  In 1951, Beck and Fernandez were both executed by electric chair.

Myra Hindley and Ian Brady

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These lovebirds from Greater Manchester in Northern England led a much darker criminal career than Bonnie and Clyde.  The couple, led by Brady (who was supposedly obsessed with committing a “perfect murder,” lured five adolescents to their death.  Hindley would bait the young people into her car by asking for help (she asked her first victim to help her locate a missing glove), then take them to a secluded location, where Brady was waiting to slit their throats.  In four of the five murders, Brady also sexually assaulted their victims.  The couple buried the majority of their victims in distant Saddleworth Moor, which earned them the nickname “The Moors Murderers.”  Hindley had became enamored with Brady when she was just 18 years old; together they read works by Marquis de Sade, as well as Dostoevsky’s classic perfect-murder-and-repentance novel Crime and Punishment.  Both were sentenced to life in prison.

Fred and Rosemary West

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The Wests were another deadly couple hailing from England, one whose actions were even more inhumanly brutal than Brady and Hindley’s.  In their youth, both members of the married couple were victims of frequent sexual abuse and incest.  When Fred met Rosemary, he was 27, a father, and married to a former prostitute; she was 15.  They moved in together, and while Fred spent six months in prison for theft, Rosemary murdered his stepdaughter, Charmaine— purportedly because she refused to cry when Rosemary abused her.  The Wests were married in 1972.  Fred encouraged his wife to sell her body, and she eventually had seven children, almost all from different fathers.  In late 1972, they hired a young woman to nanny their children, and then raped her.  The following year, Fred began raping his daughter, eight-year-old Anne-Marie, and continued to do so until she was 1979 when she suffered an ectopic pregnancy and managed to escape.  Finally, in 1992, Fred and Rosemary’s activities were discovered and both were charged with rape.  During the investigation, police discovered human bones buried at their house in Gloucester.  It is commonly believed that Fred and Rosemary had murdered 10 victims together, including Fred’s ex-wife and both of the children from his former marriage.  Fred West hanged himself a few years later; Rosemary is currently serving a life sentence.

Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo

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Like Fred and Rosemary West, Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo were a young married couple who corroborated on the murders of three young girls.  The first was Karla’s 15-year-old sister, Tammy, who they drugged with animal tranquilizers.  While she was unconscious, Paul raped her, and she eventually choked on her own vomit; she never woke up from the episode.  The next was Leslie Mahaffy, who they held hostage and assaulted for more than 24 hours before killing her.  Their final victim was Kristen French, who they brutally assaulted for three days before strangling her to death.  Because the defendants were an attractive young married couple, their story made headlines across their native Canada, and were even dubbed “the Ken and Barbie of murderers” by national newspapers.

The Dougherty Siblings

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While it’s true that these cross-country murderers weren’t necessarily a couple, their familial relations makes their story just as captivating.  Stripper Lee Grace Dougherty and her brothers Ryan and Dylan, lived in Zephyrhills, Florida, just North of the Tampa Bay area.  Their misadventure began in early August 2011, when a they sped away from and fired shots at a police officer who had tried to pull them over for speeding.  From there they headed to Georgia, where they robbed a bank wielding high-powered artillery.  Their semi-successful getaway came to an abrupt halt a week later, when police at a restaurant outside of Walsenberg, Colorado cornered them.  After attempting to escape, they were arrested.  Searching through their car, investigators found a machine pistol, two assault rifles, and a handgun.

Roy and Jessica Fritts

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This romantic duo may not have been as bright or brilliant as Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow, but they were just as human.  Roy and Jessica Fritts met through a prison pen pal program (Roy was in jail for attempted murder; Jessica was serving time for a bank robbery), and the pair married while they were still incarcerated in an Oregon state prison.  Last month, the Fritts broke Roy’s parole in order to take a trip to Nevada.  They hitched a ride with a stranger, murdered him, dumped his body on the side of the road, and took off with his van.  After police managed to blow out the van’s tires, the Fritts fled on foot and ended up at the residence of an old man living in Summit County, Utah.  Again, they committed murder for a car — but this car had manual transmission, which neither Roy nor Jessica knew how to operate.  The car went on the fritz, and the Fritts went into police custody.

The End is Nigh, and we’re not just talking about Glenn Beck’s ratings. Some economists are saying that the US has passed the point of no return with its economy, which means economic collapse is as inevitable as Charlie Sheen’s future apologies. There’s lots you’ll need to do before hunkering down in your zombie-proof bunker to prepare for the end. Get a jump on this now before society breaks down and look on the bright side: at least you won’t have to go to work anymore.

Buy Guns

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You can’t fight zombies or your neighbors for those last Twinkies at the 7-11 without good weapons. Remember that handguns maybe easy to carry, but if you really want to put down a looter or that rotten neighbor of yours, a handgun should only be used for the trip upstairs to get your rifle or shotgun. And speaking of shotguns, bullets will be quite the commodity when the end comes, so make sure you also have a shotgun shell press. But remember, don’t start shooting people until after the apocalypse. If you get a bed holster, make sure your sheets don’t tangle or you could blow off your own foot.

Hoard Water

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Oh, sure water comes right out of your sink…now. But is it really paranoid to think that government might shut off the flow and try to control our brains with rap music? Whether the economic end comes due to natural disaster, the next World War or Goldman Sachs betting that it will happen, the human body can survive weeks without food, but only days without water. Do like Viggo in The Road, when you see the flash, turn on the faucet.

Hoard Food

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Until you figure out how to grow your own food or enslave the rest of the survivors, you’ll need a well-stocked pantry. Commodities, especially food, will skyrocket during the coming World Wide Depression, so extra food will also be handy to barter with. Remember that girl in high school who turned you down for the prom? You’ll be amazed what she’ll do for a can of peaches in the coming economic collapse.

Buy Land You Can Farm On

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Having a well-protected chunk of real estate that you can grow food on is going to be very important. Make sure it has a fence to keep out the riff-raff, C.H.U.D.S. and wasteland mutants you’ll probably have to fight. The good news is, after the government collapses, you won’t have to pay property taxes on it.

Convert Your Car to Vegetable Oil

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You think gas is high now? Wait until the seas dry up and the US strategic reserves are diverted to keep the limos running that shuttle Barack Obama and the Congress around. By converting your car to run on vegetable oil, not only will your car’s exhaust smell like French Fries, you’ll be guaranteed fuel. In America, we fatties never run out of greasy things to cook our food in!

Buy Gold

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Gold has been steadily rising as the dollar has continued to plummet. In the dark days ahead, a shiny gold bar could make you the only financially solvent warlord on your block. Gold always holds its value, unless it’s molded in the shape of tacky jewelry worn by the cast of the Jersey Shore. Sadly, anything that touches Snooki must be thrown away.

Learn to Hunt

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After the first few months of the collapse, store shelves are likely to be empty or choked with the shambling corpses of the living dead. Meat is going to be at a premium and you’re going to have to learn to shoot. The deer aren’t just going to stand there while you drizzle barbecue sauce on them. And remember, if your neighbor says you look “juicy”, be careful. He may be sizing you up for a casserole.

Keep a Low Profile

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Bragging to your neighbors about your secret stash of gold, guns, ammo and Survival Seeds sends one clear message to your neighbor: Kill you and he’s set for the apocalypse. You’ll last a lot longer in the coming Hellscape if the locals think you’re just as screwed as them. Conserve your food, don’t put on any weight and don’t attend any town militia meetings reeking of chocolate and cheese. Orange Doritos hands are a dead giveaway too.

Make and Keep Lots of Friends

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You are going to need allies when the world goes back to bartering. If you’re known as the “town jerk”, change your attitude now before the meteor hits. Your neighbors will have skills that you can all use. The local stoner knows how to grow plants, even inside with hydroponics. Your friend the cop probably has plenty of extra ammo. And your overweight friend that ran the pizza shop? He’ll make an excellent zombie decoy while you run away.

Start Your Own Religion

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If you want Godlike power, make yourself one! There’s no easier way to motivate your minions than to promise them something after they’re dead. Who needs money? When you got this kind of power, you can decide what money is! And, when people use faith over logic, you can pretty much tell them to do anything.

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab may have failed at bombing Northwest Flight 253 on Christmas Day, but he succeeded in creating big headaches for holiday travelers. In response to the attempted bombing, the TSA has implemented new security measures for domestic and especially international flights. MSNBC has more:

While domestic passengers “should not expect to see the same thing at every airport,” TSA said heightened security procedures would include increased vigilance and visibility that may — or may not — take the form of gate screening, added presence of law enforcement officers and canine teams, and other activities.

Changes in carry-on luggage rules are also causing confusion. Until Saturday, most airlines allowed passengers to board with a standard-sized carry-on bag, plus one additional bag usually described as a laptop-bag, purse or briefcase. Those rules still stand for domestic flights and flights leaving the United States. On incoming flights, however, passengers can board with just one small carry-on item.

In other words, the new rules are forcing travelers to be even more patient than usual. Schedule in some extra time if you’re flying anywhere in coming weeks.

After reading about protesters bringing guns to anti-Obama rallies, I grew curious about which states are open-carry; that is, they allow people to carry guns in public, as long as the guns are visible. I made this list from the map graphic at OpenCarry.org:

Open carry states:

Alabama
Alaska
Montana
Idaho
Wyoming
Nevada
Arizona
New Mexico
South Dakota
Vermont
Kentucky
Virginia

Open carry–with restrictions (eg. permit requirements):

Utah
North Dakota
Minnesota
Iowa
Tennessee
Mississippi
Georgia
Indiana
Maryland
New Jersey
Rhode Island
Connecticut
Massachusetts

Many other states have their own versions of open carry–eg. it is allowed in some rural areas of California. See the map for details.

Using a loaded gun to demonstrate your right to bear arms at a presidential event is a dumb idea. Maybe you’re a responsible gun owner, but what about the 50 people next to you? Who’s to say someone won’t get excited and start firing? And if that happens, the government will be even more interested in restricting gun rights. Demonstrators either need to keep their guns unloaded, or not bring them at all.

Moore's thesis – near as I can follow it- is that America commits vastly more handgun murders than the rest of the world. Well, there's no disputing that. You would think Moore would make the point that it's because we have such easy access to handguns. He does not. He claims that there are plenty of guns in Canada, but they don't have our murder rate. The movie's premise is that we kill people with guns because we Americans are terrified all the time, and the one thing we are most terrified of is Black people.

Hope I didn't wreck the movie for you.

The title comes from Moore's assertion that Dylan and Klebold, the Columbine murderers, were so immune to violence that they went bowling in the morning before they shot up the school. It is a chilling thought. Didn't happen. But that shouldn't get in the way of a chilling thought, especially when it's your opening thesis.

The opening scene features Michael Moore in the North Country Bank & Trust in Traverse City, Michigan, which was running a promotion saying that for every account opened, they would give away not a toaster or a walkman, but a gun. We see Moore filling out the paperwork to open a new account. This done, the teller hands him a rifle. Moore exits the bank, thrusts the rifle into the air like some well-fed Sandinista, and over the freeze-frame says "maybe it's not such a good idea to give people a gun…in a bank!" Oh, how the NPR film club tittered at that line!

This isn't just misdirection. This is, pure and simple, a goddam lie. The bank did offer this promotion, and when Moore heard about it, he found out that when you open the new account, they give you a certificate. You then have to go to a gun shop to pick up the gun.

This wasn't damning enough. So Moore convinced the poor, decent, gullible people who ran that bank that it would be much better publicity for them if they could hand him the gun right there in the bank. Uh, well, um…okay. If it will help you with your movie. But the bank did not hand out guns on the premises. Moore created this scene to advance his premise. It's a funny scene. It is most emphatically not a documentary scene.

There is plenty more, just follow the link. It is well worth your time to read the whole thing.

Well, today in the mail I got a card to let me vote for the NRA president. My choices are Charleton Heston, or Michael Moore. I knew it was tongue-in-cheek, but I was still surprised. Apparently Moore thinks he represents America's views on guns better than Charleton Heston. He is actually quoted as saying "After Columbine, I decided that I would run agains Charlton Heston for the presidency of the NRA."

Now, I don't despise Michael Moore as much as Rachel Lucas, but I am beginning to think that is only because I know so little about him. Statements like this show he is a true idiot. Blaming guns for Columbine is like blaming airplanes for 9-11. These same liberals who will let Saddam have WMD because we need to instead deal with the "root causes" of anti-Americanism think that law abiding citizens shouldn't have guns because there are no "root causes" for gun violence other than the existence of guns.