1. LA: Driver for the BUS (Driver for the BUS)

Adult Day Care needs a Driver BP class.
Monday to Friday. Pay – $ 45.00

• Location: Driver for the BUS

I know that driver for the BUS makes sense in other languages…but in English, it’s just plain funny.

2. LA: Dream job for the right person… could it be you?

Dream job for the right person… could it be you?

Description: Well established adult oriented website company looking for someone with a knack for choosing the best adult material. With the training we provide, you’ll be selecting pictures and videos for our sites on a daily basis. So yes, basically you get paid to look at porn, but there’s a lot more to it than you might think. You have to know EXACTLY what to look for. It takes a highly-trained and keen eye to select the proper images for our websites. The difference between picking the right and wrong pictures even one time can mean thousands in additional sales revenues for the company.

“Highly-trained,” in this context, means you have watched a lot of porn.

3. Canada: Taboo Sales Reps Needed

Looking For Sales Help For The Upcoming Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show.
Needs To Be Energetic, Outgoing and Great Customer Service. Duties Would Include Greeting and Helping Customers, Setup and Tear Down of Show.

Please note this is an adult oriented show and you must be 18 and over to apply.

Must be comfortable selling jelly-like protrusions intended to fit into outlandish places.

4. Canada: Installer for chimney wanted

Looking for a chimney “expert” to install wood burning stove chimney on a weekend. Not to be offensive but please do not apply if you are a weekend handiman or someone who read how to install a chimney. Must know code. Please send me your info and I will contact you. Thank you.

Note to weekend handymen: Just be really, really good at pretending you’re an expert. And don’t being an instruction manual like the last guy did.

5. Canada: Love piercings and tattoos???

Looking to hire ENERGETIC, OUTGOING, HARD WORKING, and MOTIVATED sales people!! Christmas is a busy season and we need good sellers!! do you love to work?

please write a little blurb about yourself when applying. What makes you stand out? what weird or cool hobbies do you have?? tell us something that makes you, YOU!

You love to work, you don’t get any breaks, you have to stand around in a mall, and you have weird/cool hobbies. Why don’t they just directly ask for teenagers in desperate need of money?

Happy Friday!

Sometimes, people pay you to be who you are. These jobs can be the best kinds of gigs…if they pay more than a pittance. This week’s jobs demonstrate that you can make money being a hateful Alaskan resident, someone who needs their wisdom teeth pulled, or a Russian with access to an executive office:

1. Alaska: ‘To the Point’ Writers

Looking for aggressive writers with a no non-sense vision regarding Alaska politics, saracastic personal experiences, regarding just about anything (keep it clean), and off the cuff thoughts about things that aggravate you re: Alaska. Think Seinfeld. Multiple subjects that irk you. No holding back. I prefer ideas from people that are transients that have moved here and feel somewhat out of place with how slow things move and how different it feels.

People who like Alaska will not be considered.

2. Austin: COUNTER HELP HAM WRAPPERS

Large Retail store needing seasonal help. Counter help and Ham Wrappers/cutters. All applicants must be clean cut and have experience working and greeting the public. Apply in person.

Can you imagine meeting strangers after taking this job? “So what do you do?” “I wrap hams.”

3. Austin: Need Your Wisdom Teeth Removed?

Research co. is looking for men and women to participate in a medical research study of an investigational pain medication following wisdom teeth removal. If you qualify and participate, one of our board-certified oral surgeons will remove your wisdom teeth at no cost, and you may receive up to $350 financial compensation. Participants must be willing to stay overnight in the clinic. Call us or visit our website for more information.

Better hope that pain medication works.

4. Raleigh: Sales for the Hunter not farmer

Established Software company is looking for the right person to cover the Raleigh and East area of Nc. Are you a Hunter… Full Commission dosent bother you since you will succeed in any market. Not a wanabe.. if you have verifiable Sales Credientials send me an email. We do a lot of training, you must be of the mindset to learn. If you want to do it your way, go start your own business.

Compensation: Full Commission. 16% to 25% of the sale

Now, what was wrong with farmers again?

5. LA: Need RUSSIANS for short film

Need 2 Russian Actors for Short film. SOME PAY INVOLVED. Someone that has access to an EXECUTIVE-Looking office gets SPECIAL CONSIDERATION. Please speak english and FLUENT RUSSIAN. THANK YOU!!

Compensation: $25-$75

If you happen to be a Russian person with access to an executive office, there’s an instant $25…for dealing with people who want to film you. Is that really worth it?

Happy Friday!

The Harvard Business Review’s David Silverman is documenting peoples’ recovery curves after they face unexpected career hardship. As part of his project, he has been interviewing CEOs’ experiences with failure. Here’s an excerpt from his recent blog post on the subject:

I’ve met people who’ve seen their hopes dashed when they were passed over for promotion, others whose vast fortunes were erased by accounting scandals, those who’ve had their comfortable lives upended when their parents lost their savings, and even people who’ve simply and terrifyingly slipped and fell, putting them out of work and nearly into paralysis.

And here’s where the CEOs I’ve talked with are different than me. Faced with failure, they stayed in motion. They quit the bad job, they separated from investors they conflicted with, they got up off the sidewalk and went back to work.

Read the complete post here.

Our list covers currently available jobs that offer high earning potential to people without a technical or scientific degree. Some jobs require licenses or a little additional education, but most can be accomplished with a “worthless” liberal arts education (even one of those “lowly” online degrees).

Note: These are job categories as defined by the government in 2008. Therefore, some newer jobs or job categories aren’t included here. Entrepreneurship/owning your own business is also excluded.

20. Postal Service Clerk
Mean annual wage: $50,150

Job description: A Postal Service Clerk performs a variety of duties within a post office. These include processing mail, selling stamps and packing materials, processing money orders, sorting mail, repeatedly explaining the same concepts to confused customers, and various other duties.

How you land the position: The government prefers to hire people with a Bachelor’s degree. Customer service skills also help. If you’re interested in a full-time position, you need to pass a civil service exam.

Examples of companies to work for: The Unites States Postal Service

19. Construction and Building Inspector
Mean annual wage: $52,160

Job description: Inspectors enforce building safety codes. Tasks include examining new structures to determine the structural integrity of the building and ensuring buildings are safe before developers open them for use. Inspectors may also approve building plans or blueprints before construction begins. Inspections cover electrical and/or plumbing elements as well.

How you land the position: Some positions have no degree requirements. Positions in engineering or architecture, however, may require a Bachelor’s degree. Experience in the construction field helps your prospects. Some positions require specific certificates or licenses.

Examples of companies to work for: Local or state government agencies, National Building Inspections, Home Inspections USA, National Inspection Services

18. Compensation, Benefits, and Job Analysis Specialist
Mean annual wage: $57,060

Job description: Assess aspects of compensation, benefits and job duties of employees for the primary employer. In this position, you may examine specific areas such as pension or employee classification levels.

How you land the position: Some sort of Bachelor’s degree is preferred, though specific education requirements may vary by position. Certifications and required job experience differ from one job to another.

Examples of companies to work for: Local and state government offices, consulting services, insurance carriers

17. Claims Adjuster, Examiner, and Investigator
Mean annual wage: $57,550

Image: KYFB.com

Job description: Inspect the damage on a vehicle or other property. Request the assistance of doctors, mechanics or other specialists in order to create an accurate insurance claim report. You can either work for an insurance company or work independently.

How you land the position: A liberal arts degree is a good start. Have a strong background in the latest technology, or be proficient at picking up new computer applications. Contact your state’s Department of Insurance to find out if certifications are necessary.

Examples of companies to work for: Allstate, State Farm, Nationwide, AAA, Progressive, and other insurers.

16. Instructional Coordinator
Mean annual wage: $59,780

Job description: An instructional coordinator, also known as a curriculum specialist, supports and improves the quality of education in a college, university, or other school. Responsibilities include reviewing and selecting textbooks; developing curricula; evaluating, placing and upgrading technological instruments in the classroom; training teachers, and assessing the overall quality and success of classes.

How you land the position: The minimum educational requirement is a Bachelor’s degree. Some employers prefer an advanced degree; others want a background in education. Required licensing and other requirements may vary from state to state.

Examples of companies to work for: Public and private elementary, secondary and post-secondary institutions, educational consulting firms, child day care services, scientific research and development services.

15. Social and Community Service Manager
Mean annual wage: 60,570

Job description: Run a social service or community outreach program. Tasks include overseeing the organization’s budget, directing employees (eg. counselors or social workers), networking with other organizations, community outreach, liaising with the government and media, and directing fundraising efforts.

How you land the position: Many employers prefer degrees in public administration or social sciences like psychology. If your degree is unrelated, try working your way up by volunteering or taking an entry-level position in your organization of choice.

Examples of companies to work for: Look for work with nonprofit institutions and the government.

14. First-Line Supervisor/Manager of Construction Trades and Extraction Workers
Mean annual wage: $61,280

Job description: Overseeing and coordinating the duties of construction or extraction workers. Tasks may involve scheduling, inspection of progress, equipment and/or job sites, ordering supplies, locating and marking job sites, and recording and analyzing data.

How you land the position: Depending upon the area of specialization, positions require a variety of educational backgrounds up to a Bachelor’s Degree. Experience in industries like masonry, carpentry, electrical or building construction may help.

Examples of companies to work for: Building construction companies, roofing, drywall, electrical, glaziers, concrete companies, and anyone else involved in construction.

13. Insurance Underwriter
Mean annual wage: $62,600

Image: Santa Clara U

Job description: Review applications for insurance coverage submitted by non-clients wanting coverage. Find any possible risk associated in covering a potential client, then approve, deny or modify the policy to accommodate the client’s personal needs. If you become an underwriters, you may work for life or health insurance companies, or you might work with automobile, home owners or commercial insurance policies.

How you land the position: Most companies prefer a Bachelor’s degree. An emphasis in business administration or other business related course work, such as economics, accounting or insurance principals, helps. Many underwriters start out in entry-level positions and move their way up by gaining experience and industry knowledge. Continued education is highly recommended for advancement within the field.

Examples of companies to work for: Aetna, Cigna, State Farm, Farmers, New York Life, MetLife, and other insurance companies.

12. Broadcast News Analyst
Mean annual wage: $70,730

Job description: Broadcast news analysts, or new anchors, host television and radio news programs. Anchors read current news stories, host panel discussions, and perform interviews. Length and frequency of reports may vary depending upon seniority and the size of the news agency. An anchor at a large station will have a very specialized function, while an anchor at a small station may perform various duties relating to multiple topics such as sports, weather, traffic, and breaking news.

How you land the position: There are no formal educational requirements, but networks prefer a Bachelor’s degree. Any education or professional experience in English, public speaking, broadcasting, or communications helps. Candidates should have clear diction, strong voice projection and, for television, a professional appearance.

Examples of companies to work for: ESPN, CNN, Fox News, NPR, local radio stations, local television news network.

11. Gaming Manager
Mean annual wage: $73,480

Job description: Responsible for oversight of the gaming floor at casinos and other gaming institutions. Supervise dealers and other employees in the gaming area. You also perform customer service duties while out on the floor.

How you land the position: An Associate’s degree is recommended, as is prior casino experience. If you have a BA, flaunt it. Also be able to pass a background check.

Examples of companies to work for: Harrah’s, Isle of Capri, other casinos, riverboats, cruise ships, etc.

10. Sales Representative, Wholesale and Manufacturing, Technical and Scientific Products
Mean annual wage: $79,260

Job description: A sales representative’s job function, regardless of industry, is to present their merchandise or services to clients through demos and presentations, answer questions and concerns and provide initial customer service. As a sales rep, you may present a single product or a whole line of products. You might also provide services directly to consumers, to wholesalers, retailers, contractors, or government agencies.

How you land the position: Education levels for the field vary. A Bachelor’s degree is preferable, especially for anyone interested in working in technical or scientific industries. Excellent communication skills, a professional appearance, and a winning attitude are also keys for any sales job.

Examples of companies to work for: You may find employment in a retail environment, manufacturing, construction or IT, to name a few possible industries.

9. First-Line Supervisor/Manager of Non-Retail Sales Workers
Mean annual wage: $79,870

Job description: This job title is Labor Department-speak for Middle Manager, Field Not Specified. Your main job is to oversee employees who work in a non-retail environment. Additionally, you may perform accounting, budgeting or personnel matters.

How you land the position: A liberal arts degree is ideal, since specific career fields vary widely. Depending upon the industry, employees may have an emphasis in business, social sciences, computers, etc. Start in an entry-level position, then work your way up to middle management—or job-hop until you have the skills to land a middle management position at a new company. You can do this by acquiring relevant certificates, getting into a small but growing company, or laying out for an MBA.

Examples of companies to work for: This position exists in a broad range of fields. You may find employment in local government offices such as law enforcement, schools, nonprofits, or corporations. Job titles vary—just look for a “manager” suffix.

8. Agent and Business Manager of Artists, Performers, and Athlete
Mean annual wage: $81,550

Job description: An agent serves as a professional representative for another person. Agents introduce their clients to other important contacts within their industry and help negotiate deals and contracts. You should have a background and/or expertise in their desired field.

How you land the position: Education levels may vary greatly. A liberal arts Bachelor’s degree, complemented by strong communication and networking skills, is a good start. Agents also need the ability to look and act professional.

Examples of companies to work for: The Actors Group, Encore Talent Agency, Baron Entertainment, Cannonball Fine Art, Anna Goodson Management Inc., Flynn Sports Management, Progressive Sports Management

7. Stockbroker: Securities, Commodities, and Financial Services Sales Agent
Mean annual wage: $92,050

Job description: A stockbroker buys and sells securities for brokerage firms. As a stockbroker, you may work with the public buying, selling or trading stocks, bonds, and other securities. Full service broker also advise their clients on investment matters, for an additional fee or commission.

How you land the position: Most stock brokers have a minimum of a Bachelor’s Degree, though education levels vary. Common majors include economics, finance, accounting, and business administration. But nobody’s going to kick you out for having a humanities degree. Additionally, to become a stockbroker, you have to pass the Series 7 and Series 63 licensing exams.

Examples of companies to work for: Charles Schwab, Merrill Lynch, Edward Jones

6. Education Administrator, Postsecondary
Mean annual wage: $92,920

Image: New America Foundation

Job description: Postsecondary education administrators perform administrative tasks at schools beyond the high school level. Administrators work in all departments. Organize course schedules, hire faculty and other staff, manage budgets, serve as academic advisors, and perform other administrative tasks.

How you land the position: Most colleges and universities prefer a Bachelor’s degree, though more advanced positions require a graduate degree.

Examples of companies to work for: Public and private universities, community colleges, vocational training schools, and technical institutes.

5. Pharmaceutical Sales Rep
Estimated wage potential: $100,000+

Job description: A typical pharmaceutical sales representative, also known as a drug rep, represents a particular drug or drug group for a major pharmaceutical company. Drug reps present product information and samples to physicians. For example, a drug rep specializing in cardiac medicine would sell cholesterol- or blood pressure drugs to cardiologists.

How you land the position: Have at least a Bachelor’s degree. Companies may prefer science degrees, but you can still get in with a liberal arts education. Previous sales experience is a plus. To make it as a rep, you need excellent communication skills. You should thrive in a competitive environment. You also need to look and act professional, and be willing to learn and speak clearly about the product you are selling.

Examples of companies to work for: Pfizer, Merck & Co., Bayer, GlaxoSmithKline, Johnson & Johnson, Novartis

4. Public Relations Manager
Mean annual wage: $101,220

Job description: Oversees employees within the public relations (PR) and marketing departments. PR managers help a company manage its public appearance, brand, and reputation, as well as generate exposure for its products or services. Specific duties may include generating and distributing marketing materials, creating press releases, and liaising with journalists.

How you land the position: Besides your Bachelor’s degree, try to take specific coursework in public relations, communications, speaking, journalism, or English. To work your way up to management, start in an entry-level position and build experience. Keep a portfolio of your press releases, media mentions, and other positive accomplishments.

Examples of companies to work for: Positions exist within communications, construction, information technology, education, sporting goods, and many other industries. Companies with more exposure usually need more PR help.

3. General and Operations Manager
Mean annual wage: $107,970

Image: Mitchell Haaseth/NBC

Job description: A general or operations manager organizes and oversees company operations in either the public or private sector. Duties may include creating and/or implementing policy, human resources, purchasing, and administrative tasks.

How you land the position: Gain industry experience to complement your Bachelor’s degree. Many companies prefer a managerial or supervisory history

Examples of companies to work for: Companies that employ this position may include jobs in construction, IT, sports, hospitality, freight, and a number of other industries.

2. Sales Manager
Mean annual wage: $110,390

Job description: A sales manager leads a sales team, helps train and develop her employees, and makes or contributes to hiring decisions. The success of the sales team is based, in large part, on the successful communication, direction and leadership of the sales manager.

How you land the position: Most companies prefer a Bachelor’s degree. Industry experience and education in your field of specialization help. A good track record in sales is crucial.

Examples of companies to work for: Everybody needs to sell. Look for positions in healthcare, education, finance, insurance, retail, and any other industry you feel drawn towards.

1. Marketing Manager
Mean annual wage: $118,160

Image: Fly4Change

Job description: A marketing manager focuses on increasing sales and recognition for their organization through marketing activities. Sales, public relations and advertising may fall under a marketing manager’s umbrella. As a marketing manager, you need to monitor competitor activities, demand for your products, new client markets, and your budget. You need to have the ability to create a strategic plan based on those parameters.

How you land the position: A liberal arts degree works for this field, although any kind of coursework in marketing, PR, or business helps, as does industry expertise. Depending on the company, you may also want an MBA. Previous marketing experience is essential.

Examples of companies to work for: This is a versatile position available within many industries ranging from IT, insurance, architecture, sporting goods, publications, etc.

The Caretaker Gazette, a 27-year-old newsletter that publishes house sitting and property caretaking jobs, is experiencing a resurgence in interest in the tough economy. Here’s what the Caretaker Gazette offers (from their website):

The GAZETTE provides its subscribers with thousands of house sitting and property caretaking jobs each year. We have housesitting jobs in all 50 US States, Canada, Mexico and dozens of other countries.

You can enjoy rent-free living as a property caretaker in desirable locations. Positions on estates, mansions, farms, ranches, resort homes, retreat centers, camps, hunting and fishing lodges, vacation homes, private islands, and any other kind of property imaginable are listed in The GAZETTE.

Unlike Craigslist, the Caretaker Gazette quality assures its postings. Also unlike Craigslist, you have to pay for a subscription.

The Gazette is an interesting example of a business model that has worked for a long time, but is really benefiting from the weak economy. House sitting opportunities start looking a whole lot better when you’re jobless, even homeless, but responsible and well-meaning.

Josh Kaufman posted a great piece last week about the dangers of falling in love with the idea of a job or other pursuit, while ignoring the day-to-day rigors of reality. Sure, we all would like to believe that the lives of Fortune 50 CEOs and world famous authors are nothing but huge paychecks, really great lunches, and houses on multiple continents. The truth is that success isn’t easy, and it isn’t free.

Want to be a Broadway star? Fine – as long as you’re willing to starve and face the reality that you may never acheive fame. Want to quit your job and start your own business? Also a valid choice – just make sure you know that you’re in for sleepless nights and ulcers over how you’re going to make the mortgage payment.

Most things simply aren’t as glamorous from the inside looking out. It’s easy to fantacize, but much harder to commit to the years of work it takes to create the kind of success story that makes it look easy.

I was lucky to observe the dangers of mystique early on. Fresh out of school with an accounting degree I scored a consulting job with a big firm. On the surface it looked a lot sexier that the audit jobs my friends were taking. Lucky for me I knew what I was getting into – long hours with boxes full of documents that I would painstakingly index, summarize, and analyze so that a partner could say something smart in expert testimony. It wasn’t glamorous. I knew this because I’d spent a summer internship doing exactly that kind of work. 

I can’t tell you how many new staff were not so fortunate. They quickly became disillusioned when they realized that they would not have their own underlings to do the ‘grunt work’. 

If you don’t have access to an internship, there are other ways to find out what you’re getting into. Josh Kaufman suggests simply asking:

Fortunately, there’s an easy way to counteract the rose-colored glasses of mystique: have a real human conversation with someone who’s actually done what you’re attracted to. Here’s what to ask:

“I really respect what you’re doing, but I imagine it has high points and low points. Could you share them with me? Knowing what you know now, is doing this worth it?”

What could be simpler?

Check out the full post at Personal MBA.

Image Credit: rogerimp, Flickr

What will make you a strong force to reckon with in a highly competitive job market? Is it your level of education? Perhaps many years of experience? Or maybe you have a lot of energy and time that you’re willing to dedicate to the right company. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Many candidates will be the right person for the job, but that’s not what gets them into the right position.

First off, you need to get in the door. Even with referrals from friends and colleagues, an essential part of getting that interview is having the perfect resume. Never, ever, use a cookie-cutter cover letter or resume. Hiring managers see right through that, because they do have to sort through tons of them on a regular basis. Then again, doing your own from scratch can lead to many mistakes and not hitting some key points employers are looking for. So, how do you create the perfect resume?

Step in 360JobInterview.com, a company that leverages technology to provide personal and substantive services that will make a real difference in your job search. They have over 300 coaches specializing in over 55 industries that will work one on one with you to give you the advantage you need to snag the job. 360JobInterview offers resume building, live interview coaching, and live career action planning.

Can you make a lasting impression in five seconds? That’s how long most hiring managers spend looking at resumes set in for review. This company goes beyond the usual plug-in templates, writing and reviewing all resumes by actual recruitment specialists from a specific industry.

360JobInterview is currently holding a contest: They are giving away 10 free resumes, tailored to fit you by seasoned professionals. Each winner will also receive a one hour coaching session that will prepare you to use your new resume to strategically land the job you are seeking. Together, these prizes actually form the 360º Resume Expert Plus service,which includes resume building, a phone interview, and a live one-on-one career counseling session.

The contest ends and all entries must be received by Friday, July 10th. For more information on the giveaway, visit the 360 Job Interview Blog.

What if your newest income source lay right at your feet? Panting, say, and begging for a treat? Fido, Snowball, or even Ted the Tarantula could be a potential new income source. Here are five ways people make money off their pets.* One of them may fit you, as well:

1. Model Them

If you think your hairless Sphynx is exceptionally cute–and have had complete strangers verify this as fact–why not capitalize off her looks? Most magazines, ad agencies and charities periodically feature animals. Be in the right place at the right time, and voila, Susie’s face could land on cover of a Petco ad. Animal models rake in fees of up to $200/hour, with dogs grossing the most pay. Cats, birds, lizards, and other pets trail behind in terms of demand, but the opportunity still exists. The first step is making sure your pet is well-behaved and doesn’t bite cameramen. After that, all you need is a good agency and a good opportunity.

2. Milk Them

If you happen to have goats or cows in your backyard, milking is an obvious, if not lucrative, way to make money. However, if you’re tight on space, other critters’ fluids can actually pay quite well. Take Chuck Kristensen, who has about 50,000 spiders living in plastic cups inside his basement. Kristensen runs Spider Pharm, one of the world’s biggest spider venom producers. Each day, he “milks” his spiders by sedating them with carbon dioxide, then forcing it to release venom using a mild electric current. It takes hundreds of spiders to gather enough venom for a full order, but that order–often just a thimbleful–can fetch hundreds of dollars.

Needless to say, Kristensen, a lifelong spider lover, isn’t in it for the money. But it must be a nice perk.

3. Have Them Play

If your own Hollywood dreams never panned out, and your kids aren’t looking too good, either, why not go for the dog? You never know–your Sparky could be the next Air Bud. Or Lassie, Benji, Morris, Spuds MacKenzie, or, heck, even the Taco Bell dog. Once you build your pet’s resume with a list of awards, certifications and acting classes, the sky’s the limit. Even if Sparky doesn’t hit the big time, he can always make a $1,000 appearance in a commercial.

4. Show Them

If you’re passionate about your breed, and willing to deal with big overhead and time commitment, showing could pay off–if it doesn’t turn you into a neurotic mockumentary subject first. After spending thousands of dollars and hours finding the perfect puppy, buying quality food, developing a strict exercise and training regimen, paying club and registration fees, socializing her, taking her to the vet, and grooming her, you might have a spitting chance at taking home a small money prize.

More likely, you’ll just get a ribbon and a pat on the ego.

5. Sell Their Goods

Unless your housepet has a special skill, like this fishing dog, it probably won’t produce much marketable product. That changes when you widen the definition of “pet.” If you have room for chickens, goats, alpacas, or even minicows, your pets can produce goods, as well. Sell milk or organic eggs to your neighbors or local farmer’s market; sell wool to a guild or fiber co-op, or make your own cheese, yogurt, or yarn to sell. If you’re sitting on some land, and are interested in keeping farm animals, why not try it out? The worst you can do is only produce enough food for yourself.

*Disclaimer: Any relationship between these hobbies and the word lucrative is purely coincidental.

Business Insider on the Option ARM explosion.

eMarketer points out a paradox around using social media in the office.

Daniel Gross on why the 410K is becoming the 201K.

The Toronto Star on oil prices going back up.

It’s so much easier to keep your job than look for a new one in this economy. These tips are a good reminder for all of us to love the one we’re with.

1. Do Your Job – Only Better
A freelancer I know recently told me she’d rather just go to work for someone else so that she could show up in the morning and leave in the afternoon without worrying about every moment of billable time. That is exactly the kind of thing that’ll get you fired anytime, and especially now. Bottom line: contribute to the bottom line.

2. Suck It Up
Unless you work for AIG, you’re probably not getting a bonus this year. Or a raise. Get over it. Money isn’t everything. Giving off the impression that you’re working just for a paycheck is a direct route to Pinkslipville.

3. Be Extra Politically Correct
This is not the time for taking chances. Gossip-wise that is. Talking behind co-workers’ backs is always a bad idea. In tough times it could be lethal. Make sure your work/social interactions are above reproach. While a little office gossip is often expected, you’ll do well to learn to turn the conversation to the positive.

4. Don’t Be Politically Correct
This is precisely the time to take chances. Who is going to save our economy? Many say it’s the entrepreneurs. I say it’s the entrepreneurially minded – no matter where they work. Don’t be afraid to follow your instincts. You may have the idea that saves the company.

5. Never Miss a Deadline
This is standard, and yet there are so many excuses. Don’t use them. Work early, work late,  teach your kids to prepare your Powerpoint presentations. Do whatever it takes to get the job done. On time.  

6. Monitor Your Personal Use of Company Time
It is ridiculously easy to fritter away your precious time (paid for by your employer) on the multitude of electronic diversions we have at the ready. Worse yet: you can totally get away with it and even look like you’re working while you’re at it. One minute you’re on LinkedIn looking up an advertising contact, and the next you’re reading your college roomate’s fishing blog. Poof – there goes an hour. Coming from a billable hour background I can vouch for the fact that once that hour is gone, it’s never coming back.

7. Stay in the Loop
This is no time to isolate yourself. While you certainly don’t have to hang out with co-workers all the time, don’t be aloof either. Go to lunch with the gang. Chat in the hall. Say hi to absolutely everybody.

8. Be Humble
When jobs are in jeopardy, it’s easy to let fear get the best of you. Don’t let insecurity turn you into the jerk who has to be the loudest in the room to prove he’s valuable.

9. Toot Your Horn
Another contradiction. You don’t want to be obnoxious about it, but you don’t want to let the obnoxious guy take credit for your work either. (Ladies, I’m especially talking to you.)

10. Leave Office Romance to The Office
I’ve changed my stand on office romance to match the economic times. Normally I would say go for it, it’s normal to become involved with someone you spend so much time with. But now, you can’t risk it. Too much is at stake for you to deal with the extra complications of cube fever. If the relationship ends badly you’ll likely not want to spend all your waking hours together and there just aren’t enough other jobs out there to take the chance.

That’s all I’ve got. What are you doing to keep the boss happy?

Feel free to add on to the list in the comments!

Image Credit: wOOkie, Flickr