Despite the world’s trials and tribulations, it seems like a lot of inventors are hell-bent on creating products which are nothing more than a worthless gimmick. This is because people would rather try and buy their way to health and happiness than work toward it. Money-hungry inventors and investors are all too eager to give the lazy and stupid what they want: useless crap which promises to improve the quality of life while really serving no more purpose than a dust-gathering end table in an unused room. Here are 15 of the most worthless inventions to ever separate a fool and his (or her) money.

The Dumbell Cane

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Like olde tyme fitness in an olde tyme way? Then you need the Dumbell Cane from the early 1900′s! Invented by what we assume was an olde tyme scientist, the Dumbell Cane was essentially a very heavy cane with a nickel top. This was more likely used to club unruly man servants and those jerks on the Hi-Wheel bicycles.

Get a Grip Wine Glass Grip

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Have you ever said to yourself, “Gosh, I’m too stupid to properly hold a wine glass!”? Do you wonder how you might make it abundantly clear that you are a clod in front of a group of sophisticated wine drinkers? Look no further! The “Get a Grip” wine glass grip puts a bright red grip on your wine glass that says to the world, “I am probably a toddler, and you should call child services right now.”

Prosthetic Dog Balls

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Do you feel bad about what you did to Rover? No, not the peanut butter thing, the other thing when you took him to the vet and got his nuts removed? What is your best friend going to lick for the rest of his life? The answer is Neuticles! Neuticles allows your dog’s junk to return to its former glory. Now he’ll have something to do while you visit your therapist.

Cleavage Coverage

Let’s face it: boobies are distracting. You don’t want to be doing a kidney operation when the nurse leans over to help and gives you a clear view of her meat jugs. Fortunately, there’s Camiband! Now when that hot chick goes to work, she can wear this and pretend people take her seriously.

The Flatulence Deodorizer

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After years of failure with corks, the inventor of this gadget decided to go in a different direction. Why not stop butt gas near its source? The Flatulence Deodorizer is kind of nice way of saying “Fart Tampon”. But unless your gas is SBD, the noise is probably still going to give you away.

Cat Wigs

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Finally, something for bald cats! Cat Wigs come in a variety of shapes and sizes. It’s the perfect gift for your crazy cat lady that isn’t quite crazy enough. It’s probably the same kind of people that tried to order Kitten Mittens. It is highly doubtful that a cat would ever tell its owner about a desire to own a wig and mittens, and much more likely that weird single women across America are struggling to force these stupid inventions on their poor, squirming cats who want nothing more than to be left alone to their windowsills and strings.

The Dog Sack

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Like your dog enough to take him on a drive, but not enough to let him in the car? The 1950′s had the answer… Kind of. It’s a Dog…Sack…thing. Just fasten old Rover in this bag and I’m sure he’ll remain perfectly still while you barrel through traffic at 60 mph. It’s a good thing pets were disposable in those days.

Phone Fingers

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It’s not really clear what demographic of people would be interested in this product, but for those have a weird rubber fetish and/or love the tiny finger condoms used at the dentist, Phone Fingers is the way to go. Why look like an idiot pounding the touch screen while wearing gloves, when you can look like a douche from the not-too-distant future? It’s truly a product that says to the world, “I’ll buy anything that’s in a Sky Mall catalogue.”

Subway Chinrest

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No, this isn’t a device for Jared, the fast food spokesman if he gained back all his weight, it’s actually a device for people to lean their chins on in the subway. It was marketed in Japan, the only country where this might not look completely insane. But finally, Bill O’Reilly has something to hold up his giant forehead if he gets too tired.

The Pizza Fork

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Sadly, this is not a fork made out of pizza, which would at least be delicious. It is instead a fork with a pizza cutter on the handle. It’s sort of like a lame Swiss Army Knife for people too lazy to wash utensils AND cook.

The Plow Gun

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We don’t know what kind of farm the inventor was running to build this, but it must’ve been pretty bad. When you have to take your turnips hostage or shoot your mule in a hurry, this invention from 1826 is for you. Either way, you’re not getting on a plane with this baby.

Fork Alarm

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And you thought the Pizza Fork was going to be the dumbest fork on the list. This invention has a timer that allows the user to know when its time to take another bite. Still, you have to understand that it was patented in 1995, a crazy era for forks and timed eating. Seinfeld was still on the air and if you could be “Master of Your Domain” you at least had to be master of your fork.

Helicopter Ejection Seat

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No one wants to go down with the chopper, but is it better to get ripped to shreds instead? The Helicopter Ejection Seat probably had good intentions, but the guys that invented it just didn’t think it through. Maybe a Helicopter trap door would work better.

The Prostate Gland Warmer

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Patented in 1918, the prostate gland warmer was suppose to stimulate a man’s “abdominal brain”. Instead it ended up more like an alien probe sans the alien. From the looks of that invention, it may have been adapted for the ladies later on.

The Useless Box

Even more useless than a computer floppy drive or Ryan Seacrest, the Useless Box performs as advertised. It’s a robot whose only function is to turn itself off. Now if only they could somehow adapt it so it would work on Joe Biden’s mouth.

The new iPad defines the post-PC market. At least that’s what Steve Jobs suggested today during the unveiling of the iPad 2. Jobs, who said the new tablet would ship on March 11 (in black and white) came out to a standing ovation during today’s Apple announcement.

The long and short of the presentation is that the iPad 2 is lighter, thinner, faster, and more powerful than its predecessor. As usual, Apple is making it easy to justify spending $500 on a sexy new computing gadget, while setting a new industry standard for tablet competitors to scramble behind.

Here’s a summary of the Apple event, based on Engadget’s liveblog:

The iPad 2
It’s faster, thinner, lighter, with better graphics, a gyroscope, two cameras, and better software–for the same price. What’s not to love?

Hardware
It has a new chip called the A5
There are dual-core processors and a CPU that’s twice as fast
Graphics that Apple claims are nine times faster
Rear and front-facing cameras
Gyroscope
HDMI video port
It has the same battery life as the old iPad
It sells for the same price

The new iPad also comes with a snazzy new cover called the SmartCover. Using magnets, it automatically wakes up the iPad when you open it, and puts it to sleep when you close it. You can fold it to prop up the iPad. The microfiber material cleans the iPad, too.

The new iPad is 33% thinner than the old one–that’s thinner than your iPhone 4. It’s also lighter.
It’s shipping in black and white, for AT&T and Verizon

Software
Great opportunities for the new iPad

iOS 4.3 is out.
Among other things, it will add a personal hotspot for iPhone 4.
New software includes PhotoBooth, FaceTime for iPad, iMovie for iPad, GarageBand for iPad (you can edit up to 8 tracks at once. It promises to make music-making more accessible for the masses, kind of like what YouTube did for video.)

iBooks
iBooks is a solid competitor in the online book space.

The iBookstore now has more than 2,500 publishers and 200 million accounts.
More than 100 million books have been downloaded over the past year.
Random House is adding more than 17,000 books.

Other Apple Stats
The App Store and iPads are big business, and are making big money.

Developers have earned more than $2 billion for selling apps.
More than 100 million iPhones have been sold.
15 million iPads sold in 2010; that’s more than 90% tablet market share.
Apple made $9.5 billion off those sales last year.
There are currently 65,000 iPad apps.

Today is the first day you can order the Verizon iPhone (at preorder.Verizon.com/iconic or at the Apple Store). To prepare for the network load once the phones are delivered, Verizon will automatically reduce image and video file sizes, as well as reducing data speeds for the top 5% of data users. MacWorld has the scoop:

The first practice involves optimizing and transcoding some content in order to reduce the strain on its network capacity. The idea is that automatically reducing the file sizes of images and videos will help keep Verizon’s tubes from getting clogged. The carrier also attempts to skirt claims of net neutrality foul play by stating that its optimization process is agnostic to content and the Websites it is coming from. Further, while “any change to the file is likely to be indiscernible,” you may notice some “minimal impact” on appearance. The document does not specifically warn owners of the iPhone 4 and its high-resolution Retina display, but it probably should.

Verizon finishes with a very Vulcan justification for its practice of throttling the few for the good of the many. “Our proactive management of the Verizon Wireless network,” the document reads, “is designed to ensure that the remaining 95% of data customers aren’t negatively affected by the inordinate data consumption of just a few users.”

When it comes to AT&T’s mistakes, Verizon is an apt pupil. If it pulls the Verizon iPhone launch off without network hiccups, it will be the corporate equivalent of thumbing its nose at AT&T.

Read this article for a more detailed breakdown of the new Verizon iPhone, and a comparison with AT&T.

25. The Mint

The Roomba robotic housecleaner seems like a cool concept, until you see it miss spots and crash into walls. The Mint, a new robotic cleaner, ups the ante on the Roomba. It has a built-in navigation system that uses an infrared laser as a satellite-like reference point while mapping out a room, making for a more thorough, less epileptic cleaning job. All you have to do is stick a wet or dry Swiffer pad on your Mint, and let it do its job well. Take that, Roomba.

24. 3D Computer Monitor

The 3D revolution is on, and don’t think that excludes the Internet. The DuraVision FDF2301-3D, by Japanese monitor maker EIZO, is 23 inches of HD 3D without glasses. You can choose from four different kinds of 3D settings on the monitor. The clincher: each monitor will probably cost somewhere upward of $25,000.

23. Infinity I-Kitchen

Admit it. All that’s missing from your fridge is a touchscreen UI, one that lets you control its internal temperatures, make lists, find recipes, look up contacts, and basically contain all those other functions that used to live on and around your fridge door. Enlightenment Foundation Libraries’ Infinity I-Kitchen scratches this itch by making fridges more high-tech. The open-source touchscreen computer lives inside your fridge, and, as a Linux-based app, is open for modification. The screen, though, will only live in an Electrolux fridge–take that as you will.

22. The Cow Manure Generator

Image: Foxypar4/Flickr

Methane is one nasty greenhouse gas. It’s over 20 times more potent to the atmosphere than carbon dioxide. But Chinese innovators have figured out how to mitigate atmospheric damage while generating electricity with their new generator, which converts the methane gas from fermented cow manure into electricity. The power plant, which runs on GE gas-powered generators, will “generate enough electricity to meet the needs of 3,500 American-size households,” according to MIT Technology Review. It also creates manure that is “safer than raw manure.” You need an awful lot of manure to make this technology cost-effective, so Huishan Dairy, where the pilot project is taking place, is collecting additional bovine waste from 20 other nearby farms.

21. The Evolved Location-Based App

Location-based apps are still a little bit primitive, but they won’t be that way much longer if Location Labs’ Sparkle platform has its way. Its geolocation technology lets developers build smart apps that can find, identify, and detect motion and velocity of any mobile device. Combine that with Sparkle’s geofencing and messaging technology, and you have something like location-based apps 3.0. Such apps could take customization to the next level, automatically letting you know when your kids are getting near your house, you’re near a business that can give you a special discount, there’s a home for rent nearby, etc. The opportunities are boundless.

20. The Home Wind Energy Generator

What if you could capture and generate energy with the same turbine? That’s what Earthtronics’ Honeywell Wind Turbine does, and it aims to redefine the wind power market with it. Magnets and stators in the turbine’s outer ring “capture power at the blade tips where speed is greatest,” according to the website, making the turbine productive even in low winds. The magnets on the turbine’s blade tips pass through copper coils in the frame, allowing the turbine to generate electricity at the same time it captures it.

In return, the turbine offers the most bang per kilowatt-hour buck for its size and class. The Honeywell costs $6,495, but if you factor in government rebate programs of 30% or more, and the fact that the unit will produce roughly 20% of a single family home’s energy in a relatively windy place in a year, according to this Inhabitat article, the price starts looking pretty good.

19. Samsung LED Thin 3D TV

There’s 3D, and there’s thin. It was just a matter of time before they came together; Samsung has done it with its 7.2mm (about 1/3 of an inch) thick LED LCD TV, the 9000 series. The set comes with glasses and lets you turn your 2D content into 3D, so you don’t need to give up your favorite 2D shows.

18. Biofuel-Powered Commercial Flights

Image: Steve Jurvetson/Flickr

The world’s first biofuel-powered passenger flights will happen in April 2011 between Frankfurt and Hamburg, courtesy of German airliner Lufthansa. The fuel will be a 50% vegetable oil blend thought to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by up to 80%. The biofuel flights are part of a six-month German government study on how biofuels impact aircraft performance in the long term. Other airlines, including Continental, Air New Zealand, Japan Air and KLM have been testing biofuels as well.

17. BendDesk

This 2 projector, 3-camera curved screen transforms the traditional desk into a tactile computer. The BendDesk’s “integrated workspace” lets you sort photos and files and play games with your hands, even along the unit’s curved spine. Bonus: You can put coffee, papers and other stuff on the bottom half of the desk, just as you would a normal desk. It’s like the upcoming Microsoft Surface tabletop computer, but cooler.

16. 3D HD Camcorder

All that was missing from 3D was a personal camcorder. Here it is, courtesy of Panasonic. It’s basically a 2D camera with a 3D conversion lens. The lens mimics human eyes’ natural visual disparity by recording left and right images simultaneously, the same way our eyes work in concert to perceive depth and solidity. Connect the video to a 3D TV, and you can watch your own life in three dimensions.

15. CO2 Electroreduction

Canadian startup Mantra Energy proposes to take popular “clean coal” technology carbon capture sequestration one step further. Their patented ERC (electro-reduction of carbon dioxide) technology lets factories capture carbon dioxide, then reduce it into formate and formic acid, chemicals that factories can then sell for profit on the open market. Mantra even promises to take those chemicals off factories’ hands. This new form of carbon capture with an integrated profitable vertical market just might be what carbon emitters are looking for.

14. The Flying Car

The Terrafugia could be the closest we’ve come to the Jetsons. This light sports aircraft’s wings fold, it burns automotive gas, and it’s street legal with ground speeds of up to 65 mph. In the air, it goes up to 115 mph. It fits two people and even has dual airbags. Taking it off in the emergency lane during a big traffic jam probably isn’t legit, but it sure is a tempting thought, isn’t it? For $194,000, this puppy can be all yours.

13. KOR-Fx

With 3D becoming a new standard, the only thing missing from a movie or gaming experience is sensation. KOR-Fx, a collar that sends vibrations through your body via your chest, takes care of that missing touch. Plug it into your audio system, perch it on your chest, and prepare to get your neural pathways activated by this clever device, which lets you do things like feel gunshot wounds and T-rex footfalls, according to ConsumerReports. It comes out next February for a little shy of $200. It’s like having D Box MFK seats, which move in movie theaters, right on your own couch.

12. Miniature Cell Phone Towers for the Office

All those wires that snake around office buildings, behind walls and around ceilings, could become a thing of the past with mini cell-phone towers, or femtocells. Stick one of these devices inside your office building, and it will operate everything wireless inside, and even recognize when employees walk in, according to MIT Technology Review. These bad boys are more powerful than the little towers that, say, AT&T has been trying to pawn off on people who can’t get reception for home use. Businesses won’t need wired phones any longer with these new towers, which have a 50-meter reception radius and no-drop handoff between zones. They can also mimic today’s wired phone systems by routing calls and data.

11. Cell Phone Hotel Keys

Goodbye, hotel key cards. Hello, cell phone key. Thank close-range radio chips for this innovation, currently being pioneered in Sweden by lockmaker Assa Abloy. The radio technology, dubbed Near Field Communication (NFC), lets you check into a hotel via your phone, at which point its chip is activated. Viola, key. You then hold your cell phone next to your room door to unlock it. If you lose your phone, room access can be revoked. The technology also works with key-card locks, which are enabled by radio, according to the magazine Sci-Tech. No smartphone, no problem.

10. Electric Nanomotor

Science fiction is becoming reality with this nanomotor, which could eventually operate nanofactories—tiny assembly unites that create atomically precise chemical components by putting together different molecules. This, in turn, would enable the mass-manufacture of precision nanomaterials.

This tiny electric motor, which is now being experimentally built, has a rotor made of the molecule anthracene, which spins around an axle made of two ethynyl molecules. The axle, in turn, receives alternating current from two electrodes, which makes the anthracene rotor turn, according to New Scientist magazine. Unlike other nanomotors, which run off of light or magnetism, the anthracene motor’s electric current enables scientists to control the “speed and continuity of motion,” leading to better control over temperatures “at the molecular level,” according to the abstract. Thus, there’s more control over the manufacturing process. Sci-fi, here we come.

9. Shape-Shifting Touchscreen

Image: A6U571N/Flickr

Microsoft wants your touchscreen to touch you back. It recently published a patent, filed in 2009, that describes a touch screen in which you can feel texture and shape, making you feel like you’re actually touching an object even when you’re not. Ultraviolet wavelengths beneath the screen’s pixels control the shapes that the polymer coating on top of the screen makes, enabling you to feel images, interfaces, or a virtual keyboard. It’s not currently intended for tablets, according to CNET, but we’ll see how long that lasts.

8. Power Plastic

Most solar panels are big, bulky things that sit on rooftops. Konarka has found the antidote in its Power Plastic, an 0.5mm thick, 3oz, wrappable, hangable, rollable sheeting that manufacturers can build into their products. Think laptop bags that recharge while you travel, a tent with a sun-powered generator, window shades that make electricity, and much more. The opportunities are nearly endless for this neat sheet of solar charge.

7. Quantum Dot LED Display

Currently, LCD screens on TVs, phones and computers filter out more than 90% of the light they produce, making them terribly inefficient, according to the MIT Technology Review. Quantum dots, nanomaterials that turn backlight into colors that match display filters, cure this problem. LG will integrate the technology into its new products, leading to better energy efficiency, improved battery life and better color. QLEDs, as they’re called, still have lots of potential. In the future, they may be twice as energy-efficient as current LEDs, and they can be printed on thin substrates, making them cost-efficient to manufacture.

6. The Mobile Fuel Cell

As sexy as fuel cells are, they still haven’t gone mainstream yet. Lilliputian Systems wants to change that with the Silicon Power Cell, a handheld portable fuel cell that uses butane cartridges to charge your mobile devices via a USB port. The butane cartridges are replaceable for $99 (plus a few bucks for recycling); each can charge a device about 22 times. The cell emits about 3 watts of power, enough for a smartphone or other small device. And it’s airport-approved, so no worries about having the TSA yank your precious fuel cell.

5. GM Mosquitoes

Dengue fever kills about 25,000 people a year, and it’s spreading. What if you could nip this fatal nuisance in the proboscis? That’s just what scientists have done by introducing genetically modified, infertile males to dengue-infected swarms of mosquitoes. Females won’t produce offspring with these guys, even after mating with them. Studies have found that dengue-infected populations fell by 80%. The males are engineered to die off naturally, and females only mate within their species, so the GM traits are self-limiting.

4. Nintendo Glasses-Free 3DS

Gamers are biting their nails for the new Nintendo DS, which looks like the old one, but is actually on 3D steroids. The top of its two panels shows images in 3D, so you don’t need glasses or 3D TV sets to use it. It will cost about $300 in Japan. (Note that Apple also patented a glasses-free 3D system in 2006—could the 3D iPad be next?)

3. Robotic Walking Pants

Exoskeletons are walking their way into mainstream medicine. One of the most impressive of these is the ReWalk, a pair of leg braces with sensors and motorized joints that let paraplegics walk with crutches, according to Sci-Tech Today. The $100,000, 35-pound device is a suit of sorts, held up by a harness and charged by a backpack you wear. After you pull on the suit, sensors in the legs react when you lean and move your upper body. And yes, it does make robotic clanging noises when you move, according to Sci-Tech. Still, it’s an impressive step forward for paraplegics.

2. Graphene

Two University of Manchester physicists recently peeled a single atomic layer of carbon off a piece of graphite, which is otherwise known as the stuff inside of pencils. Scientists then found that graphene, as the stuff is known, actually has some game-changing properties. It is better transistor than silicon, conducts heat and electricity like a champ, is stronger than any other material in the world, and can revolutionize DNA sequencing. No wonder those two Manchester physicists won the Nobel Prize for Physics. Move out, silicon, the Graphene Age is next.

1. Porsche 918 Spyder

The Porsche 918 Spyder is a 218 horsepower V8 supercar that goes from 0 to 60 in 3.2 seconds. It can top out at 198 mph. The clincher: It’s a hybrid, with 78 mpg at normal speeds. You can adapt it to drive on all of its three electric motors, and even press an E-Boost button that sends more juice to the electric motors if you’re running low. The car, which comes in three different types of hybrid, runs for an estimated price of $550K, according to Popular Science, but the actual price hasn’t been set yet. Drool.

The Chrysler Group unveiled the new Fiat 500 at yesterday’s LA auto show. The Fiat 500 will hit US markets in January 2011 at a starting price of $15,000. USA Today has more on Fiat’s marketing plans:

When Fiat sold cars in the U.S. in past decades, it wasn’t known for reliability, so to allay those fears, Fiat says the 500 will have a four-year, 50,000-mile, bumper-to-bumper warranty and free maintenance.

The new Fiat 500′s prospects, she says, will be younger hipsters. “It’ll be seen as a new brand, a cool Italian brand.” And when they research the 500, “They’ll see it’s a worldwide icon,” helping pre-sell them on the car.

Just like 1980′s retro fashion, companies are relying on Gen Y-ers’ shorter lifespan to spin something everyone else has doubts about.

How does the Fiat 500 measure up technically? CNET’s Antuan Goodman describes the sporty little hatchback:

Under the hood is Fiat’s award-winning 1.4-liter MultiAir engine, which uses a sophisticated form of variable valve timing to output 101-horsepower and 98 pound-feet of torque. So, while you won’t be towing any trailers with such low power levels, we are still talking about a power-to-weight ratio similar to that of the Mazda2–which we all loved to drive. The 500 will be available with a five-speed manual transmission, with gear ratios modified for the U.S. market, or a six-speed automatic gearbox. The 500 also gets a larger 10.5 gallon fuel tank to help it cope with the longer average trips made by American buyers and an uprated climate control system to better deal with the broader range of temperatures on our continent.

In the cabin, the 500 carries its Microsoft-developed Blue & Me voice activation command for handsfree calling, as well as its available TomTom navigation system. The latter manifests itself as a 4.3-inch portable navigation device that docks at the top of the dashboard. North American 500s get new steering wheel mounted controls.

On a promising note, the Chrysler Group, which is majority owned by Fiat, is also planning on releasing an EV version of the Fiat 500 in 2012. A high-performance version of the Fiat 500 is also slated for 2012.

With a decent enough car, and urban appeal, the hipsterized Fiat brand just might work.

Google has released Hotpot, its new recommendations engine that lets you search and rate businesses you’ve patronized. Hotpot is also smart: it collects data on your frequent reviews, then uses that information to give you more targeted recommendations in future searches. Google also integrated a social aspect to Hotpot, which lets you friend your fellow reviewers the same way you can on Yelp.

The user interface is slick. You first search a category of service via a simple search field, for example “restaurants Boulder CO.” Hotpot then presents you with a table of images that link to businesses that match your search query.

Click on one of the image links, and Google takes you to a detailed description of the service, with a map and driving directions accessible at the top. In terms of mapping, which includes a social component, Google may be challenging Foursquare, too.

When you navigate down the page, the business description includes featured quotes from sites like Open Table and TripAdvisor, restaurant images from sites including Urban Spoon, and a collection of ratings from various sites, including Yelp and CitySearch, as well as Google user ratings. At the bottom of the page, you get a list of related businesses in your city and their ratings, as well as Google search results describing your business.

All in all, it’s a complete, intuitive, and pleasing interface. UI-wise, I actually prefer it to Yelp, and I really like Yelp. But I also have friends on Yelp, and Yelp has an edgy social aspect that draws me in.

The biggest potential problem with Hotspot is that users won’t be motivated to migrate to it from their established review sites. If so, Hotspot won’t develop the kind of social traction that would really make it fun for users as well as give Google a lick of the social market, which it’s been unsuccessfully seeking since the days of Wave.

likely (boast) Android 3.0 (aka Gingerbread), along with a custom Sony Marketplace which will allow you to purchase and download games designed for the new platform. The device snapped up top (and in our gallery below) is sporting a 1GHz Qualcomm MSM8655 (a chip similar to the one found in the G2, but 200MHz faster), 512MB of RAM, 1GB of ROM, and the screen is in the range of 3.7 to 4.1 inches…the handset does indeed have a long touchpad in the center which is apparently multitouch, and…it’s still bearing those familiar PlayStation shoulder buttons.

You can also plug in a memory stick.

The PlayStation Phone will let users download apps and games from the Sony Marketplace. This could be a big financial boon for Sony, especially if the PlayStation Phone gains the kind of traction that the PSP series has. I don’t see any reason that it won’t. Even if Sony makes the PlayStation Phone expensive, it has a solid enough fan base that the product will probably sell well.

The PSP Go already came with Skype, so the PlayStation Phone would simply up the ante on an already popular, capable device. The pervasive gaming potential of this device could be a huge selling point. Imagine meeting a rival or partner in, say, an airport waiting area, and teaming up to play Resident Evil 5 with another PlayStation Phone owner? Or playing one of the Grand Theft Auto series while sitting on a bus?

This is all, of course, assuming that the PlayStation Phone is more than a mere rumor. The Washington Post’s Rob Pegoraro says don’t get your panties in a twist about this phone yet:

Unless Sony has an exceptional software emulator or compatibility layer up its sleeve, this hybrid won’t run existing titles without a rewrite. Its earlier attempts at smartphones, while technically impressive at times, have gone nowhere in the market. So have earlier attempts at building gaming-first phones, such as Nokia’s epically failed N-Gage.

He points out, correctly, that Apple’s white iPhone has been delayed until next spring, and could simply be code for Verizon iPhone. But building all this hype certainly isn’t hurting Apple or Sony (or, if yesterday’s rumors rang true, Apple-Sony).

The Driod Pro is meant to take on the Blackberry, according to CNET:

Motorola co-CEO Sanjay Jha called the phone, which sports a 3.1-inch touch screen display and a QWERTY keypad, the first Android phone designed specifically for business users.

The company has added several features to the Droid Pro, which could make it a strong BlackBerry competitor. BlackBerry is still the No. 1 smartphone used by large corporate customers. The most important features Motorola has added allow IT managers to actually manage the phones and they also allow these IT professionals to secure the devices and protect data from leaking out of the company via stolen or lost devices.

The Motorola Citrus is 25% recycled. From Slashgear:

Verizon has liberally splashed Bing integration all over the Citrus, wherever Google used to be, and there’s a trackpad on the back of the smartphone for easier navigation. In all, this isn’t likely to be a barnstormer of a device, but then again it’s also likely to be relatively cheap and Motorola has made the body from 25-percent post-consumer recycled plastic so there’s a little green halo around it too.

DailyTech has good reviews of the Bravo, the Flipside, the Flipout, the Defy, and the Spice.

Motorola’s not phonin’ around, that’s for sure.

Research in Motion unveiled the Blackberry PlayBook yesterday, its homespun competitor to the iPad. The PlayBook is about half the size of an iPad but with some superior features, will come out in early 2011 in the same price range as the iPad. The PlayBook is targeted at businesspeople. NPR reports:

The PlayBook will be able to act as a second, larger screen for a BlackBerry phone, through a secure short-range wireless link. When the connection is severed — perhaps because the user walks away with the phone — no sensitive data like company e-mails are left on the tablet. Outside of Wi-Fi range, it will be able to pick up cellular service to access the Web by linking to a BlackBerry.

The iPad has prompted a wave of competitors, so RIM won’t be alone going after the tablet market. Computer maker Dell Inc. came out with its own tablet computer in August called the Streak. Samsung Electronics Co. plans to launch the Galaxy Tab next month and has already lined up all four major U.S. carriers to sell it and provide wireless service for it. Cisco Systems Inc. is also going after business customers with a tablet called the Cius early next year.

Engadget has more tech specs on the PlayBook. It doesn’t seem to have 3G/4G connectivity yet, nor is there any mention of battery life. Research in Motion will address those features later. But it does have tethering, something the iPad woefully lacks.

If Research in Motion prices the PlayBook in the same range as the iPad, it will be a viable competitor, unlike some of RIM’s other recent products (the Torch comes to mind).

Today’s Apple announcement revolved around the iPod Touch 4, a new line of redesigned iPods, iOS 4, and more (see the NYT’s complete liveblog here.)

Apple, aside perhaps from its Apple TV, is once again leading the industry in product design, aesthetics, and capability. Here’s a summation of Steve Jobs’ announcements on the new iPods and Apple TV:

New versions of all iPods

iPod Touch is smaller and has the same HD “retina” display as the iPhone 4. It has cameras in front and back, has video chat, and runs on an Apple A4 chip. Prices: $229 for 8GB, $299 for 32GB, $399 for 64GB.

iPod Nano now has a touchscreen, making it even smaller than previous versions. It’s more like the iPod Touch than older iPods. It has a 24-hour battery life and comes in seven different colors. It will cost $149 for 8GB and $179 for 16GB.

iPod shuffle is now basically a tiny square with big “Mac wheel” controls on it. It will come in five different colors and cost $49.

Apple TV

Jobs also pushed Apple TV, which has been a dud so far. Apple TV will now have 99-cent TV show rentals, HD movies for $4.99, and streaming Netflix. You can also browse iTunes, photos from your computer, podcasts, and YouTube. The new Apple TV box is also tiny compare with the old one. It’s a neat product, but scarcely better than its competition.

The new iPods, meanwhile, indicate that Apple once again reaffirmed its dominance of the music and mobile niches not through marketing, but through innovation and clever design.