Infomercials are the bane of every hoarder’s existence, but are dangerous to everyone. They bombard us with images of crap we really don’t need, but somehow seem to convince plenty of us non-hoarders to pay for stuff that immediately goes into storage or out at the garage sale. What sorcery is this? How are otherwise sane and rational people roped into paying for products that, let’s be honest, we all know aren’t going to work? Here are 5 ways infomercials sell us on their literal garbage.
 

Being an Inspiration

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Infomercials, as much as we mock them, secretly inspire us. Their products may not always be what we’re looking for, but that can easily change after the host is done telling you how much cooking you’ll do just by purchasing The Magic Bullet or the Chef Basket, which are actually two products on the more useful side of the spectrum. That doesn’t stop these two items from gathering dust inside the home; purchasing one cooking product to ‘change your life’ and inspire you to cook will typically wind up unused and discarded. Unless you’re truly developing an interest, the Slice-O-Matic isn’t going to make cooking the magical and easy task you always needed in order to enjoy cooking.

Creating a Need

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The fastest! Easiest! Surest!

One of the greatest skills a marketer can master may be creating a need in a hard, competitive market where one doesn’t seem to exist. Infomercials are amazing at creating a need within their customers.

You never knew how much you needed a Snuggie, which is just a felt blanket with two arm holes, until the Snuggie came about. And then there’s stuff like the Perfect Meatloaf pan, which is pretty similar to most pans you can buy at the store. The only interesting part of this item is the ‘lifting tray’ to easily scoop out the food, but you absolutely need the knife, recipe guide, and regular old tray that comes along with it.

Then there are things like The EZCracker, which don’t even pretend to be remotely useful or interesting. It cracks eggs for the user. That’s it. If you are a complete idiot or over the age of 90, this is a perfect product for you. Everyone else buying it gets sold on the idea that it’ll make life easier — the American dream. The same goes for Pizza Scissors and the Egg-Cuber. Things that actually make cooking more difficult are sold as quick-fixes and miracle shortcuts.  

Lots of Deals

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If you’re still on the fence about buying the Pickle Picker (since you’re too incompetent to use a regular fork), don’t worry — they have plenty of deals to convince you. Almost every infomercial flaunts some sort of ‘buy 2 get 1 free’ deal, often including extra products we think we’re getting ‘for free’. Buy the ridiculous Butter Spreader and get two extra ones free. To top it off, you’ll also get a Shamwow and a dead baby seal. But wait! If you call now, the entire order is doubled at no extra charge!** (**except for the price of shipping all the extras, which comes out to almost as much as the original order).

This is not being offered because it’s truly a great deal that some kindhearted person had to share with the world. It’s because the products are cheaply made, probably by slave children in a third world country. These products are designed to break, and made using the cheapest materials possible. Also, it simply doesn’t take $15 to ship a palm-sized piece of plastic.

Empty Promises

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Empty promises tie into inspiration, creating a need, and giving the consumer some deals, for instance:

- Cooking/camping/eating/living will never be the same again! It will be so much easier and more awesome.
- You are tired of buttering your own corn, aren’t you? You do hate it when the food gets all sloppy? This is what you need to solve that problem. Please don’t start thinking about how difficult it will be to clean a tiny cube filled with butter instead of just washing your plate/hands.
- This is a really great deal, and we promise you won’t find it anywhere else. You’ll only find this deal if you call this number, and only within the next 30 minutes. Make it quick!
- We promise it works.

TV Personalities and Comedy

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It may seem silly to think that the weird and wacky varieties of Billy Mays could actually sell anything, but these people are more convincing than we give them credit for.

Celebrity endorsements are probably the hardest hitters; anyone and their dad who liked George Foreman bought his greasy little grill. Throw Chuck Norris into an infomercial — the product could be a perfume to attract rabid wolves and people would be clamoring to purchase it.

Billy Mays and the ShamWow! were also great at selling their product, but in different ways. Housewives everywhere began to recognize and trust the Billy Mays image, while the ShamWow! guy’s success (if any), came from his comical arrest when he beat up a prostitute. This type of comedy, whether it’s from May’s screaming or ShamWow!’s erratic personality, provides us with laughter — which keeps us watching the infomercial.

Not to mention the many people who have most certainly purchased products like the Snuggie or the Dog Snuggie just for how ridiculous and comical it is.

In today’s wacky world of advertising and rampant consumerism, a company must forever be changing in order to stay cutting edge. Attention spans grow shorter everyday, no thanks to the visual rape we are incessantly faced with; a constant barrage of billboards, taxi ads, commercials, YouTube commercials, popups on every website, and even plastered all over sporting events. Sometimes, in the race to stay ahead of the curve, companies hugely miscalculate what audiences want to see — and screw up big time. Here are 10 companies who made enormous branding mistakes.

Netflix/Qwikster

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We all know and love Netflix.  It seems like only yesterday when the company appeared from out of the abyss, simultaneously changing our lives with easy access to our favorite movies and digging the grave of such outmoded business models as “Blockbuster.”  Later, when America had deemed even Natflix’s simple mail-order design to be too complicated, the company anticipated and satiated us with “Netflix Instant Play” allowing the world instantaneous access to the world of cinema at the click of a button.

It was hard to believe that they could make any mistakes over there… until we heard about Qwikster.  The best ideas are simple ones — a principle that Netflix had exploited to great success in the past.  Qwikster represented the ultimate in unnecessary and inconvenient change.  The idea was as follows: split the company in two.  One site, Netflix, would be an Instant Play computer movie watching services and Qwikster would handle the mail order DVDs and in the commotion of new logos and log-in pages up a few prices such as video game rentals.

The people were not hesitant to point out that this was an unwanted, unneeded and kind of unfair set of changes and Qwikster was born without a breath, consigned unto the history books alongside the cold, dead corpse of Blockbuster’s glory days.

Burger King King

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We all know Burger King, and most Americans have likely indulged in their delicious fast food treats — that is, when there’s no McDonald’s in sight.  It’s no small wonder that McDonald’s has been so successful when its spokesman is a rather creepy, white-faced clown.

Burger King gets no such slack for a creepy mascot.  A number of years ago they introduced the Burger King King, a mute and giant-faced medieval King who scared most people right off their whoppers.  It wasn’t until 2011 that BK execs saw a correlation between dropping sales and the King’s off-putting silence.  Meanwhile, Ronald McDonald continues to smirk.

Calvin Klein

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Sex sells.  It’s the first thing you’ll learn in advertising school… but not the only thing.  That’s what the execs at Calvin Klein failed to realize when they spent about 30 seconds translating this cheap marketing wisdom into one of the company’s most famously failed branding attempts.

In 2009 Calvin Klein released a number of video and print ads featuring a series of bizarre sexual images resembling the later hours at a High School party most of us were never quite cool enough to attend… you know the one, where sexy hairless denim lovers of all genders rub up on each other.

The ads were provocative, yes, but for the most part too alienating and uncomfortably arousing to get anyone thinking about their next denim purchase.  They were quickly removed from the air.

Accenture

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Oftentimes it’s a desperate exec’s attempt to be hip and cool that steers a company in the direction of branding disaster.  Such desperation is never attractive or productive, and this reckless “hip” seeking when the company split from Arthur Andersen was clearly the motivating factor in turning a company called Andersen Consulting into one called Accenture.

Accenture means “Accent on the future,” but not really.  The name itself conveys no readily accessible name.  And while Andersen Consulting sounds like a company that owns a building filled with men and women who do things for people… Accenture conjures a more faceless set of images as well as other meaningless words like synergy and streamlining.

Considered to be one of the worst corporate rebrandings of all time, the Accenture name-change is estimated to have cost $100 MILLION dollars.

New Coke

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Coca-Cola, in addition to being one of the most successful brands in the country, is a deeply engrained cultural emblem symbolic of American values: of our proud past and of our bright future.

In 1985, amidst much pomp and circumstance, the company released a new version of the classic soft drink.  New Coke was supposed to be “smoother, rounder yet bolder” but Americans saw all of this as a great tampering rather than an improvement.  Would you improve the American flag?  Would you edit the Bible?  No?  Then why change Coca-Cola??

New Coke was failing to sell and consumers were selling black market cases of classic Coke for as much as $30 dollars as a case.  It didn’t take long for Coca-Cola to realize it’s mistake and go back to doing what they did best… producing the same brown sugar sludge that had rotted our teeth for decades.

Lost in Translation

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A number of major marketing blunders come from simple errors in translation.  While it’s amazing to consider that ad campaigns, those silly little business ventures that cost millions and millions of dollars, could actually overlook something as central as, you know, the meaning of the words they print in their ads.

But it happens all the time. The Coors “Turn it loose” slogan translated into a Spanish idiom for diarrhea.  Perdue Chicken’s slogan “It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken” was translated in Spanish to “It takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate,” and Mexican consumers read the translated “Got Milk?” as “Are you lactating?”

Microsoft Blue Screen of Death

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It should be some comfort for Bill Gates to know that Microsoft wasn’t simply buried by Apple’s innovation and superior brand appeal.  That might make him feel weak and out of control.  Microsoft was also buried by Microsoft.  Not only did they lose their ability to make their product seem comparatively hip, hot and oh-so-indispensable, but they made a crucial error during an equally crucial marketing opportunity.

Most of us are familiar with Apple’s signature “Wheel of Death”, a spinning rainbow pie that signifies the end of a computer’s functionality.  Our parents might recall a similar phenomenon called the Blue Screen of Death, a Microsoft based harbinger of frustration and doom.  When the Blue Screen of Death appears, you’re done for.

At a pre-release screening of Windows 98 for an audience of press members, stunned onlookers chortled as the Blue Screen appeared and Microsoft employees blushed as their new program crashed before their eyes.

Yesterday and Today

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This branding disaster might come as a comfort to some who are tired of hearing nothing but praise for the Beatles.  I mean, come on, they weren’t Gods among men.  Just musicians with nerdy haircuts and the ability to make mistakes.

One notable mistake was the cover of their 66 album “Yesterday and Today.”  Known as  the “Butcher Cover,” it featured photographs of the rock stars in blood smeared butcher coats surrounded by raw red meat and dismembered baby dolls.
When the public was inevitably both shocked and dismayed, Capitol Records attempted a recall, eventually shipping replacement covers to many of the 750,000 consumers who had purchased the album.

Said George Harrison of the incident: “I thought it was gross, and I also thought it was stupid. Sometimes we all did stupid things thinking it was cool and hip when it was naive and dumb; and that was one of them.”

The Shack

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Some things will never, ever be cool.  And one of those things is Radio Shack.  Don’t get me wrong.  We all love Radio Shack, the strip mall fixture which has dutifully provided us with batteries and clock radios throughout our lives, but it’s never going to be a very glamorous shopping experience.  There are too many men with cell phone holsters on their belts in those stores for one thing.

But everyone just wants to be popular and Radio Shack is no exception.  Of late Radio Shack has begun rebranding itself as “The Shack.”  Why?  Well, no one really knows.  Perhaps it does sound a little cooler, but it also sounds more like a smoothie stand than an electronics distributor and does a place that already suffers from a reputation of being cheaper and less reliable than stores like “Best Buy,” really want to conjure the image of a ramshackle hut in every single ad they put out?

McDonald’s

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Double Cheeseburger?  I’d Hit It.

So began a less than popular ad campaign released by McDonald’s in 2005.  Don’t these people learn?  “Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it” made McDonald’s food sound good.  Before it completely erased the Justin Timberlake association with its own brand associations, that bit of jingle had us thinking that McDonald’s food was the kind of thing a hot male popstar’s heart would yearn for.  After that we just knew that we wanted fries.

But what about “I’d Hit It” coupled with the smirking image of a 27 year old man with a ratty haircut?  Does that make someone want fries?  Who wouldn’t this dude hit it with?

The problem with this ad is that it’s just too real.  Most of us don’t want to eat nasty, cheap, fatty McDonald’s food, but as we cruise down the highway late at night or walk home from the bars at 4 AM and pass those Golden Arches, we know that we would… and will… hit that.

But advertisements are about fantasy, so let’s stick with the idea that a Big Mac is something worth singing a love song to.

Despite the fact that most parents put an awful lot of time and effort into selecting only the most suitable and age-appropriate toys for their children, companies seem hell-bent on putting out products whose inappropriateness beggars belief. Of course, this almost always leads to a backlash from concerned consumers, leaving the company with egg on its face and an awful lot of products to recall. Let’s look at some of the most inappropriate children’s products ever.

10. Hasbro’s “Spastic” Transformer

People might think that such a long-standing company as Hasbro would do some elementary market research to make sure that their product names don’t have people staring at the toys in disbelief. Apparently not, as they decided to name one of their Transformer toys “Spastic with Stunticons” in 2010, apparently unaware that the term “spastic” is a derogatory term used in the United Kingdom to refer to people with disabilities. When contacted about this cross-cultural blunder, Hasbro denied ever having planned to release the toy in the UK — though some reports say such plans were scrapped. They declined to rename the figure in the US.

9. Primark’s Padded Bras for Children

The cut-price UK fashion retailer, Primark, caused a wave of public outrage in 2010 when it emerged that they were selling padded bras and bikini tops for little girls. The products sparked calls for a boycott of the store and were widely condemned by those opposed to the sexualization of children, including parent groups and the British Prime Minister David Cameron. After a whole lot of angry recrimination, Primark not only stopped selling the clothing, but pledged to donate any profits they had made from this sexual targeting of children to charity.

8. Mattel’s Oreo Barbie

A toy company partnering with a company that sells sugary treats might be seen as problematic in the first place, but Mattel took such a union into the realm of the unacceptable when they partnered with Nabisco’s Oreo cookies to produce a black Barbie back in 1997. Clearly there was not a single black or even somewhat socially aware person in the room when this decision was made, nor through the lengthy design and marketing stage. If there was, they probably would have mentioned that “Oreo” can be used as an ethnic slur to describe a black person who is “white in the middle.” The dolls were met with outrage and disbelief, and as soon as Mattel understood the nature of the problem, they quickly pulled all the Oreo Barbies from stores… and, one would hope, instituted racial sensitivity classes for their employees.

7. Twin Towers Attack Toys

Someone would have to be from another planet to not realize that they really shouldn’t make light of the September 11th terrorist attack on the Twin Towers. And yet, in 2004, toys depicting the attack and a man appearing to be Osama bin Laden at the Twin Towers began turning up in bags of candy. Consumers and Lisy Corp, the company that distributed the candy, were shocked. The distributor had bought the toys from an importer as part of a mixture, where the offending figures had been labeled as plastic swing sets. Lisy quickly sprang into action, recalling the candy, and doubtless directing extremely sharp words the manufacturers’ way.

6. Dick Tracy Tramp Figure

One of the action figures from the 1990 movie Dick Tracy depicted a character called “Steve the Tramp.” Somewhat insensitive already, this toy became downright offensive towards the homeless when parents read the packaging, which stated such nasty sentiments as “Ignorant bum… You’ll smell him before you see him,” and proclaiming him to be “Stinking up the city sewers.” At least one church leader contacted the manufacturers to explain to them why this was not the kind of thing children should be taught about the homeless, protests were held, and thankfully the manufacturers were shamed into withdrawing the product.

5. Mattel’s Teen Talk Barbie

Mattel has often been criticized by those who feel that Barbie gives little girls unrealistic ideas about women, but Teen Talk Barbie really took the biscuit. While each doll could only say four of a possible 270 phrases, there was a chance that they would say such harmfully stereotypical phrases as “Will we ever have enough clothes?”, “I love shopping!” and “Math class is tough!” This led to criticism from the American Association of University Women and was even satirized by the pop-culture institution that is The Simpsons. In a matter of months, Mattel altered production so that the phrase “Math class is tough!” was not part of any of the dolls’ verbal repertoire, and offered to swap any which had been programmed with it.

4. Morrisons’ Misspelled Toddler Toys

Educating a child starts with teaching them to read. It’s one of the best things a parent can do for their child, so the last thing any parent needs is to be undermined by the learning tools on which they’ve shelled out their money. British supermarket Morrisons was left red-faced in 2009 when they discovered that educational toddler toys that were supposed to help small children with their letters and spelling were themselves rife with spelling errors (“yacht” misspelled as “yatch” and “umbrella” as “umberlla”). At first, the supermarket chain refused to withdraw the toys until existing stock had run out, but complaints from concerned parents forced them to pull them from the shelves and issue an apology.

3. Mattel’s Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Vibrating Broomstick

Mattel were yet again in the firing line, this time for the release of a toy that sought to capitalize on Harry Potter mania. The idea of a real Harry Potter broomstick would appeal to any child, but one would have thought that Mattel might have realized that a long vibrating stick that was designed for children to put between their legs might raise some eyebrows. Tongue-in-cheek rave reviews for the product from adults quickly sprang up online, and a contrite Mattel pulled the vibrating broomsticks from the market.

2. Costco’s Cuddle With Me Dolls

Diversity in hiring isn’t just a good PR exercise; it can help stop companies from releasing products whose inappropriateness seems blindingly obvious to anyone with even an ounce of real-world experience. It’s shocking, then, that Costco didn’t realize that packaging a black doll (wearing a hat proclaiming it to be a “lil’ monkey”) with a small monkey teddy would cause concern and upset in the African-American community. They couldn’t even claim that the dolls simply liked monkeys, as no dolls representing other ethnicities were packaged with them (while panda bears were an equal-opportunity accessory). At first, many parents were simply shocked, but the growing outrage led to an apology from Costco and the dolls’ manufacturer as well as a recall of the product from stores.

1. Tesco’s Peekaboo Stripper Pole

Anyone who does not believe that companies target children with inappropriately sexual toys should simply be pointed towards this product. While many women (and some men) are now taking up pole dancing as exercise, the fact is that it is still, and probably always will be, linked with stripping for money. In fact the Peekaboo Pole even comes with a “sexy garter” and fake money. After some pointed questions and utter disbelief from the media, parents and family organizations alike, British retail giant Tesco moved the product from the “Toy” to the “Fitness” section of their store, but refused to admit that they had targeted children, maintaining that it was for “adult use.” Funny that it was put in the “Toy” section then…

The invention of paper did wonders for mankind’s organizational skills. With the invention of papyrus, a thousand things became possible for the Egyptians: hieroglyphic shopping lists (goats, bread, and charcoal eyeliner), ‘Things-to-Avoid’ lists (asps, crocodiles, and King Tut on a bad day) and even ‘Things-to-Be-Buried-With’ lists (gold, wives, and servants for the afterlife).

Thanks to the modern digital age, our old pen-and-paper ways have become a thing of the past. Technology has made everything quicker, simpler and more streamlined. From smartphones to iPads, software to apps, we humans have upgraded our antiquated Post-It and notepad ways and upgraded to digital solutions like Metrofax online faxing services google calendar. Here are some of the best digital evolutions that surpass pen-and-paper solutions.

Post-It Notes

The Old Way: 30 yellow sticky notes with scribbled reminders stuck to your wall…not to mention the additional 20 fallen sticky notes on the floor.

The Digital Way: StickyNote

Take those sticky notes from your physical desktop and put them on your virtual one. StickyNote lets you create 3D virtual stickies, perfect for quick notes or information you want to keep easily accessible. You can also attach files or links and send your stickies in emails. Attach a note to one particular window or give your notes expiration dates to prevent clutter.

Filing Cabinet

The Old Way: Messy files crammed in a cabinet that you really, truly, honestly plan to alphabetize. One of these days.

The Digital Way: Evernote

Here’s the perfect digital way to store all your information. Type notes directly into Evernote or clip web pages to save for later. Take a picture of your handwritten notes or a boardroom whiteboard. Evernote can search through any text – even the handwritten text from your pictures.

Leave a voice memo or snap a photo of your confirmation numbers and boarding information. Then sort all your saved info for easy searching and categorization, so you can take your digital filing cabinet anywhere you go.

The Bulletin Board

The Old Way: You’ve got too many clippings – wine labels, upcoming movies, delivery takeout menus – and not enough thumb tacks.

The Digital Way: Springpad

Like Evernote, Springpad provides a way to sort through your information, only Springpad acts like an active organizer for all the things you’re interested in. Save a movie you want to see and Springpad will let you add it to your Netflix queue, buy it on Amazon, see its page on IMBD or buy movie tickets.

Add a favorite wine or a brand you’d like to try and you can see nearby prices, based on the web and your location. Search for a recipe and instantly add the ingredients to your Springpad shopping list.

The Calendar

The Old Way: You need one calendar. You receive four calendars for Christmas. You use none.

The Digital Way: Google Calendar

It’s hard to beat Google’s calendar offering. It’s easy to use, it lets you send emailed or text reminders and it syncs with something you use every day: your email. Easily share your calendar with your family so you and your spouse are always on the same page – or so you always know about your teen’s upcoming practices or rehearsals.

To-Do List

The Old Way: A never-ending list of scattered chores, errands, tasks and obligations…and you keep having to add “Find To-Do List” to the list.

The Digital Way: Zadachi

Zadachi lets you categorize your obligations with three easy time lines: incomplete, complete and overdue. Separate your tasks by folders or labels; for example, you can organize your list by type (chores, errands, work tasks) or by grouping (home, work, school etc.).

Got a whole list of tasks associated with one project? No problem: Zadachi lets you group tasks by project, so you can see how close you are to completion. Best of all, this app lets your phone do some of the work for you.

If one of your to-do items is ‘call Jill’, Zadachi searches your contacts for people named Jill. If you’ve got something like ‘find an office supply store’ on your list, you can use Yelp to find a local store via Zadachi.

Faxing

The Old Way: Cover sheets, faxes gone missing and frustrating machines that seem to be eternally out of toner.

The Digital Way: Metrofax

Why do businesses still ask you to fax things? Does anyone even have a fax machine anymore? Well, with Metrofax, all you need is an email account and internet access. Just email your document to your intended fax number (with Metrofax’s @ extension) and you’re all set.

Bills

The Old Way: A bill box stuffed with bills you can’t remember if you’ve paid…until the late payment charge comes in.

The Digital Way: Mint.com

This multi-award winning application is widely regarded as the best financial app out there. Mint.com lets you access all of your accounts (both bank and loan) so you’ve got all your financial information in one place – no more trying to remember multiple login information.

Mint automatically updates and categorizes your spending history so you can see exactly what you’ve spent on things like fast food, clothes, coffee shop purchases or gas. Budgeting is a snap, since Mint averages your spending habits and breaks down how much you spend on each category. Easily track your spending and see how much you’ve got left in your budget – or how much you’ve gone over.

Digitized Productivity

It’s incredible how far we’ve come since the days of the hieroglyphics. The way technology’s moving, we’ll soon have an app for even menial tasks like organizing your underwear drawer. It’s too bad the digital age didn’t come sooner. Adam could’ve text Eve about that apple.

Image Sources:

1. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_sOwqhSLXo4g/TSJIXIfPygI/AAAAAAAAAcI/PfuF3DWerk8/s1600/to+do+list.jpg
2. http://www.flickr.com/photos/r-butler/5363022308/
3. http://www.flickr.com/photos/kheelcenter/5279251361/
4. http://www.flickr.com/photos/24oranges/2814122833/
5. http://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/5309672184/
6. http://www.flickr.com/photos/koalazymonkey/3596829214/
7. http://www.flickr.com/photos/reallynuts/3429125430/
8. http://www.flickr.com/photos/60881556@N05/5566653522/

It’s time to face some unfortunate facts: prices for many commodities and goods are going up. The tremulous recovery of the economy after the recession has been shaken in recent months due to shortages, political unrest, and natural catastrophes: events like Japan’s tsunami and nuclear disaster, to the Arab world’s political uprisings, people are beginning to worry about the increasingly cloudy future of the global economy.

Life, nihilists like to say, is cheap. In time, it may be the only thing that is.

Gas

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or driving one around Flintstones-style), you might have noticed that filling your tank has suddenly gotten a lot more expensive. Gas prices, as of the end of March, have reached a 30 month high, with crude oil topping out at $117 a barrel on April 1. Currently, supply is still the same as it was: though Libya has stopped exporting oil, Saudi Arabia has stepped up its own production to cover the shortfall. So why are gas prices so high, having risen $.60 cents in the US since December?

The answer has to do with commodities trading: unrest in oil-producing countries in the Middle East and North Africa have caused investors to panic about the future supplies of oil. People whose job it is to speculate on the future of the economy agree that the current situation in these countries — particularly Libya, which has the largest oil reserves on the African continent — will, at some future date, affect the world’s supply of crude oil. This panic has trickled down to consumers, who are feeling the pinch at the pump.

However, the gas pump isn’t the only place that’s going to be affected by high oil prices. Airlines, already struggling against consumer antipathy, will most likely be passing on their financial suffering to passengers. Consumer goods such as shoes, packaged foods, and electronics are likely to hike their prices too. 


Cotton

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Heavy rains and flooding in Pakistan and China, two of the world’s largest producers of cotton, and rising demands by clothing manufacturers have driven up the price of raw cotton. As of April 1, the cost of cotton was $190 a pound, more than double the prices at this time last year.

Some economists are already forecasting doom for clothing manufacturers like American Apparel and H&M, while other retailers are responding by hiking up prices.

The boom probably won’t last long: American farmers are already planting more crops of cotton in response to the higher demand and prices. A bumper crop in the US could, economists theorize, bring the prices back down. 


Coffee

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Bad news for caffeine addicts: due to a growing shortage of Arabica coffee, dwindling US stockpiles, and hoarding among top exporters, the price of your morning latte is going to rise. The prices of popular brands like Maxwell and Folgers have already risen 25%, while high-end coffee has increased and demand is rising in growing economies like Brazil and China. Coffee specialist Peter Baker is warning of an approaching “peak coffee”, a bleak scenario in which climate change and economic forces push coffee production into an unstoppable decline.

Prescription Drugs

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According to the Government Accountability Office, prescription drug prices have risen about 8% in the past four years. Other agencies, such as Barclay’s Investment bank, put the rate even higher, an increase of 6.8% per year.

Prescription drug prices in America are higher than any other country in the world. Americans spent about $250 million on prescription drugs in 2009, according to the National Journal; about a third of those costs were picked up by the federal government.

With life expectancy of seniors rising, and healthcare costs across the board shooting up, Democratic lawmakers are scrambling to close what some are calling “the prescription drug donut-hole” with healthcare reforms. According to Richard Evans, an economist with Sector and Sovereign Research, drug costs have outpaced rebates offered by insurance and drug companies, which means that Americans are paying more out of pocket to keep themselves healthy. 


Movie Tickets

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Surprisingly enough, when adjusted for inflation, movie tickets have remained pretty steady for the last forty years. An average movie ticket cost about $1.22 in 1967. When you calculate for inflation, that comes to about $7.88. Average ticket prices in the US last year had just hit $8.01.

That doesn’t account for the sudden popularity of Imax or 3-D movies however. Those tickets cost, on average, about $13 a pop, but can cost up to $20 in big cities. And with the popularity of movies like Avatar and the Toy Story franchise, it’s likely to stay that way. 


Movie Concessions

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Movie tickets might not have spiked much, but movie concessions sure have. In 1929, a bag of popcorn cost a nickel a bag. By some estimates, this means that the price of movie concessions have risen over 600% (granted, the portion sizes of movie snacks have also increased. Nobody was eating giant tubs of popcorn back in the day). Still, even adjusted for inflation and larger portions, the price of movie concessions has skyrocketed.

There’s a good reason for that. Or at least, the National Association of Theater Owners believes there is. According to John Fithian, president of the association, concessions account for one-fifth of all theater revenues and nearly half of all profits. The high prices of concessions keep the prices of movie tickets relatively low (‘Relatively’ being the key term here).

Soy

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The prices of agricultural commodities are all heavily intertwined. The connections between a shortage of palm oil, the price of soy, the cost of a cut of beef, and the number of acres of planted corn are weird and twisty and sometimes hard to figure out. Agriculture seems very much like an example of chaos theory at work: the outcome of one crop having far-reaching and unexpected effects on others. Here’s what we’ve been able to tease out:

The price of soy is rising, due in part to bad growing seasons in places like Argentina and Brazil, and growing demand from importers like China and other countries in Southeast Asia. Governments, in an attempt to curb food inflation, are raising their imports and beginning to sell of stockpiles. Food price inflation can contribute to all kinds of bad things, such as food riots, which led to the subsequent revolutions that have ousted dictators in Tunisia and Egypt. In these volatile times, governments are willing to make a few concessions to keep their citizens happy in their homes, rather than rising up against them. 


Corn

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How does this relate to other food commodities? Well, according to the New York Times, it means that farmers are planning on cutting back on corn production in favor of soy. Soy requires less fertilizer, the price of which has also risen in recent years, and is fetching around $400 a tonne in the US. Corn, on the other hand, is only at about $285 a tonne.

There are conflicting reports, however: the USDA has said that US farmers are planning on planting more corn, an increase in acreage by about 4.5%. Corn futures jumped $.30 on March 31, after the USDA revealed that US stockpiles are lower than expected.

So which crop will win out? At this speculative stage, nobody can tell. 
 


Meat

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What we can tell you is this: it might be time to consider going vegetarian. The growing costs of corn and soy (both of which are main ingredients in most livestock feeds), mean that meat is about to get a lot more expensive. Cattle futures reached an all time high last week. 2010 reported the smallest US cattle herd in over 50 years, while demand for meat from the growing middle class in Asia drove up prices.

Some reporters are prophesying doom, as high food prices become the new normal. Some blame it on biofuels and ethanol production, while others are claiming the crisis is rooted in global climate change. Some economists are even predicting that global food riots, even in developed countries, could be right around the corner. 


Chocolate

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Women everywhere, prepare to cry: there may soon be a worldwide shortage of chocolate.
Severe political unrest in the Ivory Coast, a West African nation that produces nearly 40% of the world’s cocoa beans, has prompted a ban on exports by president-elect Allesane Ouattara. Late last week, the UN also imposed sanctions against incumbent president Laurent Gbago, who has held onto power despite losing the 2010 presidential elections.

In addition to what seems like an inevitable civil war in Ivory Coast and the trade embargo on cocoa, cocoa farmers are hurting from a widespread blight on their trees. If that wasn’t bad enough, cocoa farms rarely make their owners enough money to feed and educate their families: there have even been reports of child and slave labor used in production.
Maybe it’s time to switch to fair trade chocolate: the prices won’t rise much, and it’ll leave less of a bitter taste in your mouth.

Trusting brands works the same way. When you buy something associated with a brand, you know the product isn’t going to, say, poison you or disintegrate in your hands. If you do have a problem with something that company provided, you know you can tell a real person about it and they’ll do something about the problem. You can rely on your brand the same way you do the people in your life that you trust.

Perhaps companies have to try harder to be trustworthy than people, though. Many on this list built their strategy around the customer experience. Some have made quality products for a long time. Those products, in turn, either soothe customer anxiety or create an experience that customers crave. Customers know what to expect when they’re dealing with the brands on this list.

Who are these stellar brands, and why do we trust them so much? Here’s a list of the 25 most trustworthy brands in America.

(Note: These were chosen to represent a sample across industries.)

25. WebMD

If you have a health issue, your overpriced MD probably isn’t your first line of defense anymore. The Internet is. WebMD lets you can look up any symptom under the sun, as well as tips for your general health and nutrition, and educates you on health issues you’ve never heard of. An attractive, intuitive layout and expert-written blog don’t hurt, either. On a more subtle level, any good, complete website that soothes your need for information when you’re panicky and desperate, as we often are during health scares, is bound to engender a positive, trustworthy association.

24. Kellogg’s

Who can argue with Corn Flakes or Cheez-Its? Many consumers default to Kellogg’s cereals and snack foods because they’ve grown up with them and they taste good. The company’s natural and frozen products have also nudged their way into consumer’s loyal hearts, and are a staple at most grocery stores. Aside from a packaging snafu in 2010 that made several of their cereals taste soapy, Kellogg’s has consistently produced products with a good taste and texture. Some are a far cry from actually being healthy, but if anything, that makes people even more loyal to the cereal giant.

23. FedEx

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Shipping companies are lucky. What better way to foster trust with consumers than delivering something that’s precious to them, quickly, safely and on time? Having the US Post Office, which many people see as sluggish or unreliable, as your main competitor also helps. If you FedEx something, it will almost always arrive at its destination on time and secure. In the rare instances a problem does crop up, FedEx is generally accountable and helpful–another one-up on the postal service. By virtue of doing what it does well, FedEx is one of the most trusted brands around.

22. Apple

A personable front man and general high quality of products and services endear Apple to millions of repeat buyers. The company has several things going for it in terms of generating both trust and excitement. Apple’s computing devices are sleek to the touch, sexy, intuitive, and smart, kind of like what you’d want in a date. The Apple Store staff are helpful and competent. Steve Jobs is arguably the best innovator of the past 20 years. Even though some of Apple’s policies are hard to work with, most Apple consumers don’t get the sense they’re waiting to pilfer your money at every turn. To boot, Apple has set industry standards for tablets, smartphones, high-powered computers, and laptops. No wonder everyone keeps coming back for more.

21. Adobe Systems

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From Flash to Dreamweaver, Photoshop to Illustrator, creative computer types can’t live without Adobe’s software. Fortunately, because they’re industry standards, Adobe’s products are reliable and fast (unless you ask Steve Jobs about Flash). And aside from a minor overseas pricing scandal, the company stands out as a software provider you can trust. When you don’t have many products to use as alternatives, this is a good thing.

20. Target

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It’s safe to assume you’ll get a good deal on most of things you buy at Target, be they fashion jeans or garden tools; that alone makes consumers trust the brand. But Target goes a step further than, say, your local dollar store. It does so by providing trendy clothes, accessories, and home decor at its superstores, making them a one-stop shop for both mundane things like orange juice and the latest pair of 1980′s aviator sunglasses. This unique strategy sets Target apart from other big discount stores, and has the effect of creating loyal customers. Moreover, unlike superstore rival Walmart, Target doesn’t have that bad-rap monkey on its back, making shoppers perceive it as nicer and more trustworthy.

19. Southwest Airlines

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Provide good service in an industry notoriously lacking it, and you have yourself almost instant loyalty. Southwest, unlike most other airlines, also lets you check a back for free, and offer one of the industry’s best rebooking policies–no fees, just pay the price difference and use credits within a year. That excellent treatment of customers makes it easier to overlook snafus like pieces blowing off a jet while it’s in flight, or the airline ignoring mandates to fix its planes. Note to other airlines: When you build a lot of brand equity, your inevitable mistakes (and, sadly, crashes) are easier to forget.

18. Amazon

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Go online. Buy a book or one of a million other items. Get item sent to your door, pronto. Return if necessary (but probably not). This is Amazon, and it has become a classic part of the American experience. From the reliable service to the smile on the box, Amazon is the go-to ecommerce classic for millions of people. On a primitive level, ordering something from a screen and knowing it will appear at your doorway in a predictable number of days is a little bit like magic. Consumers trust Amazon to deliver that magic. It does, and we start to rely on it. That reliance and familiarity breeds trust. Perks like the Kindle, seller accounts, and streaming movies don’t hurt, either.

17. Honda

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Toyota used to boast epic customer trust, but last year’s recalls ensured that it is no longer the trustworthy Japanese brand of choice, at least for the time being. Honda, on the other hand, spells reliability for many consumers. You don’t buy a Honda expecting it to break down, at least not for a whie. When it doesn’t–most don’t–you start to associate the brand with reliable cars that run forever. This is the promise of Honda’s stylized “H.” The fact that early-1990s Civics are still the country’s most stolen cars attests to the brand’s enduring value.

The carmaker’s base of small, fuel-efficient cars also lined up well with recessionary consumers’ needs, and ensured it didn’t see the kinds of steep losses that many of its competitors did. Even with Japan’s nuclear disaster denting Honda production, the brand’s perceived value, and the extent to which consumers trust it, will endure.

16. Colgate-Palmolive

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Colgate-Palmolive’s name alone invokes images of two things you probably use, Colgate toothpaste and Palmolive dish soap. There’s something about everyday products that engenders trust, perhaps a combination of familiarity and the fact that they help you accomplish basic needs. Case in point: Washing hands and brushing teeth. Unless a runny gray sludge comes out of your toothpaste tube when you first open it, chances are, you trust the brand. Colgate-Palmolive has its work cut out for it.

The corporate giant owns a number of other brands, most of which you probably trust. They include Ajax, Handi Wipes, Irish Spring, Softsoap, Teen Spirit, and Tom’s of Maine. CP’s success may rely more on its ubiquitous, decent products than on a stellar service model, but the fact that its items are so ingrained into our daily lives makes us trust them implicitly.

15. Chipotle

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Although this brand belongs to McDonald’s, it never movies made about how it simultaneously fattens, cheats and overworks people. Perhaps that’s because fresh-Mex brand Chipotle doesn’t actually do these things. Indeed, the custom burrito maker is about as transparent as it gets. The menu tells you about the purity of its meats, and when you order, you name the ingredients you want and watch an employee spackle them into a tortilla for you. The customization of that process, combined with the visibility and clarity of ingredients, makes Chipotle a place where you know exactly what you’re going to get (aside from the apparently sodium-laden ingredients that you don’t actually see).

While Chipotle isn’t the only restaurant to employ this kind of model–the burger joint In N’ Out has simple, delicious burgers and malts down to a science–its widespread success and numerous copycats indicate that the transparency-for-trust model truly works. (Low prices and fast service don’t hurt, either.)

14. UPS

Just like FedEx, this brown-clad service guarantees that it will deliver your stuff anywhere, quickly and securely. It’s hard to miss a brown UPS truck as it plies surface streets for its destination, and the brown uniforms of employees only mean one thing, that your package is arriving. You know you can trust these guys to transport just about anything you need, and that, as mentioned for FedEx, is an instant harbinger of trust.

13. Starbucks

When you ‘get a Starbucks’, you always know what to expect, in terms of layout and service, flavor and drink sizes. While the company keeps coming up with new products to innovate itself out of its midlife slump, the fundamentals of Starbucks remain reliable. Go in, grab a latte/frappe/frappuccino, and feel better. Bottom line, it works.

12. Mercedes Benz

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Age generates brand equity and trust, especially if you can survive the aging process intact. Mercedes Benz, one of the world’s first car manufacturers, has done just that, and is still receiving handsome dividends. Thanks to more than a century of quality cars, you always know a Benz will be comfortable, fast and safe. Heck, they invented crumple zones.

For decades, the German car has also acted as a mark of class, reflecting taste and wealth. A Mercedes is also generally known for its mechanical soundness, though depending on year and model, that case can be disputed. All in all, it’s been a trusted and classy brand for years, with a solid reputation. Consumers buy them expecting a certain level of quality, and the brand generally delivers.

11. Costco

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Costco, with its big boxes, reasonable prices, and stacks of stuff, invokes a primitive hunter-gatherer instinct in shoppers. (The samples help too.) You can always count on the deals, not to mention the hot dogs and pizza. Moreover, service is generally pretty good, and you don’t get attitude from checkout people the way you do at many other big stores. The backstory here is that Costco pays and treats their employees well; that attitude carries over to consumers’ shopping experience. Costco, in its membership-club wisdom, hasn’t changed its model much over the years, only its name. This further augments the familiarity-breeds-trust idea, spanning it across generations of Costco shoppers.

10. Canon

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Good products, established name, old, innovative company. Canon, a Japanese imaging products company, fits the “Trust Me” formula well. From high-end photography equipment to consumer video cameras that will fit in your palm, the company’s products permeate a long vertical. Consumers rightly equate the name with quality, and continue to buy at all levels.

9. Trader Joe’s

Good food at good prices and two-buck Chuck—how can you go wrong? Health-oriented customers love Trader Joe’s for its low-price, high-quality produce, cheese, grab-n-go lunches, bread, and a host of other tasty items. That’s not to mention its excellent wine selection, also friendly on the pocketbook. TJ’s offers the personality and product selection of a high-end grocer without insane prices. It keeps loyal customers coming again and again, and would-be shoppers in states lacking a TJ’s (Colorado. Cough.) begging for the chain to arrive.

8. Nike

This innovative sneaker company has flaunted star athletes and cutting-edge products since its early days in the 1960’s. If you buy a pair of Nikes, you’re pretty much guaranteed to leave the store with a comfortable and functional, if not trendsetting, pair of athletic shoes. Even after 47 years, the Nike logo, one of the most reliable around, is still a status brand around the world. Nike’s star power and deeply established brand make it one of the most familiar and trusted brands in sports.

7. Marriott

The hotel giant’s brand is built on consistency. The company prides itself on good service, predictably clean and comfortable rooms, and the loyalty of its guests. Although CEO Bill Marriott expressed concern about his chain not being up to the current generation’s standards of hipness back in 2005, the Great Recession, which made consumers re-focus on quality for value, may have changed all that anyway.

6. Nordstrom

Nordstrom boasts the latest fashions, as well as the personal shoppers and friendly assistants to help you find your perfect fit. That customer service-meets-fashion approach is why people keep on coming as though the retail slump never happened. While Nordy’s has some serious designer duds, it isn’t exclusive or across-the-board unaffordable, so it appeals to mainstream shoppers as well as the Nieman Marcus crowd.

5. Campbell’s

Image: H. Gordon/Flickr

Campbell’s has been around since 1869. Most of us started eating it as kids, when its chicken soup made us feel better when we were sick. Talk about powerful product association–and instant trust. In the seven or so generations it’s been around, the company hasn’t change its branding or core product line much, so you always know what you’re going to get when you buy a can of their soup. Aside from last year’s Spaghettios recall

4. Burberry

Few fashion brands stand apart based on tartan and a trench coat, but Britain’s Burberry has pulled this off with its trademarked patterns, making it identifiable on fashionistas even when you can’t read the label. Founded by a Hampshire tailor in 1856, the brand has undergone several identities, from apparel worn by the outdoor crowd to the insignia of working-class teens to its current manifestation as a luxury status symbol. But you still always recognize that tartan as a symbol of a darned good product.

3. Tiffany & Co.

Tiffany diamonds never lose their luster. When Marylin Monroe mentioned the company in her song “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” in 1953’s Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, she could still have been singing for women today. Even with a wallet-busting recession playing in the background, women all over the country are hungry for Tiffany’s high-end products. They’re trendy and high-quality, but the brand’s rich history is what really roots it in consumers’ hearts, whether they know it or not.

Tiffany has been around since 1837. It created swords for Union soldiers, the New York Yankees’ logo, various United States medals of honors, as well the first jewelry catalogue in the country. No jewelry store has been celebrated as much as Tiffany has in movies, songs, Broadway shows, sitcoms, and the media in general. Tiffany isn’t just a matter of trust. It’s a collective love affair.

2. Johnson & Johnson

Even though it’s a member of the much-maligned Big Pharma consortium, Johnson & Johnson is an exception to the “Pharma does bad things” reputation blight. How can you hate the company the makes Band-Aids for your owies or baby shampoo for your little one? They also produce the much-loved Neutrogena brand, as well as Tylenol, which has admittedly been hit by a musty rap of late. Still, J&J’s large suite of products include enough beloved, essential brands that the company’s name remains a stalwart of good medicine.

1. Coca Cola

The taste of Coke probably hasn’t changed much since you were a kid. Elders might recall the drink’s cocaine days, but Coca Cola has at least two generations of just plain Coke addicts under its belt, and it’s cultivating more as we speak. The logo hasn’t changed much over the years, the core product selection is the same, and most people grew up drinking the company’s trademark brew. Indeed, most of us experience times when we need a Coke. We trust the brand so much that many of us depend on it.