Mistake #4: Resisting Duality


How many people are inside you? And more importantly, which one has the special skills and personality traits that you need right now to achieve an important goal?

Today’s topic is #4 in the 8 Mistakes Men Don’t Makeseries, and it’s a killer. Resisting duality describes what we do when we are unwilling or unable to take on different personas in different situations to achieve certain objectives or fulfill certain roles.

You Are Multifaceted – Use It!

You are not the same ‘you’ all the time. Different situations require you to feature different aspects of your personality. Women especially can get sucked into the idea that we have to be our deep and authentic selves every minute of every day. We tend to downplay our skills and accomplishments, presenting our content—whether it’s a report or a resume—without the sizzle it takes to really sell it.

Bottom line: facts and numbers do not speak for themselves. You need to use everything you’ve got—or rather what unique and valuable trait or skill you offer—in order to close the deal.

Selling Confidence

Sometimes people just need to believe in you. Even in you’re not in sales (but aren’t we all?) almost everyone can relate to the interview scenario.

Several years ago I followed my husband halfway across the country to follow his great opportunity. But as the glamour of mixing formula and adjusting the kids’ diets based on what I found in their diapers wore off, I began to tap my sparse new network for a job.

An acquaintance at a local CPA firm tipped me off to an opening in the tax department. I’d never done the type of work that was required, but I’d done plenty that was, in my not so humble opinion, more difficult. However, I knew it was going to be a hard sell – these were accountants after all and hard skills matter. I knew I’d have to get in on personality and my ability to connect the most related skills from my previous experience to the requirements of this one.

I laid it on thick. So thick in fact, that by the end of the interview the partner in charge stopped me mid-sentence and said,

“Yeah, I got it – you’re confident.”

At that point I felt anything but. I didn’t own a suit that fit or a blouse that wasn’t stained with spit up. I’d never heard of an oil royalty, and the majority of the firm’s clients lived off their 1970s black gold profits. I had an inside connection and I had to leverage it. If I’d been afraid to play that interview over the top, I’m sure there would’ve been a line of applicants at the door the next day.

I didn’t show up and act like ‘myself’. I put on a show and as a result was offered the position on the spot.

Image Credit: Photos8, Flickr