I've been thinking lately… a lot. I've been doing freelance technical writing, programming, consulting, and stuff like that. I've had some very good job offers and part of me is ready to go back into the real world of work for a couple of years. I have some long-term business ideas that I can't implement without the time to work on improving my skill set. But, being through the startup process once already, I miss it. It's… addictive. I think I'd actually prefer to start a business and turn it over to someone else once it's running. It's the initial architecture that I enjoy. It's the fighting that you have to do for every sale, every employee, every supplier discount.
But on the flip side, part of me is tired. I think I have a pretty nice skill set for someone my age and sometimes I'd like to just go out and be paid a lot of money to use it – like I used to a few years ago. It's strange to hold these two opposing feelings in my head at the same time. I wonder if the tiredness is real or if it's just an excuse not to tackle a difficult challenge.
See, I've spent the last few months floating around business plans – several of them. I've got plenty of ideas but… ideas don't get funded. So I've searched for that first customer to help fund something. And I've been turned down again and again and again. I expect nothing less – that's how this game works, but I've begun to wonder if having multiple ideas has put me at a disadvantage. When someone says no, rather than pursue it I just move on to the next idea and try that one out. That's not really very persistent of me, is it? But at the same time, in a large and interesting world with all kinds of problems, I find it hard to focus on just one. People say "what are you passionate about?" Well, I'm most passionate about 1)learning new things and 2)solving interesting problems. That's why I like entrepreneurship, because it allows me to do my two favorite things. But I really need to be passionate about something deeper and more tangible.
I used to wonder where passion came from and why different people were passionate about different things. Now I know. I think passion is the brain's way of filtering the world and keeping us focused. There is a lot of information out there, what do we pick up on? We follow the information that is most relevant to our passions, which makes me wonder… can there be entrepreneurship without passion?