Comments on: Row Row Your Boat… With A Little Management Theory

By: Paul

Paul — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 21:22:45 +0000

Management By Objectives: Hold meeting to ensure both coxswain and rowers understand and agree that the objective of the race is to win. Develop key indicator (probably time) to measure success toward objective. Meet again to discuss plans to win race in proper time period. Meet one more time to verify and ensure that winning is in fact the proper objective and time is the best key performance indicator. Begin race. Meet individually with rowers and coxswains halfway through race to ensure they remember the objective is to win and the key performance indicator is time. Provide coaching to rowers who lag in key performance indicator. Continue race. Finish race. Realize that crew lost race but somehow managed to report a time (the key performance indicator) faster than any other team. Meet to discuss ethical principles of rowing team. Scrap MBO. Hire Jesus for MBWA.

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 16:25:33 +0000

Point conceded!

By: bdthomas

bdthomas — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 13:58:43 +0000

Web 1.0 (dot-com) Management, write a 100 page rowing-plan, make a 100 slide powerpoint of why you’re going to win, try to convince the judges that you’re the winner before the race even begins. Loose interest, take up hockey.

By: Rob

Rob — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 11:59:02 +0000

Good point. Maybe I should have said that, when forced to row at the pace of the weakest rower, the team throws their manager overboard.

By: Rowan Manahan

Rowan Manahan — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 11:55:45 +0000

A Japanese company and a California company decided to have a canoe race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. Afterwards, the California team became very discouraged and depressed. The management of the California company decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A “Measurement Team,” made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the Californians had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. So the management of the California company hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering executives, 3 steering directors and 1 VP of steering. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the “Rowing Team Quality First Programme,” with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. “We must give the rower empowerment and enrichment through this quality program,” the VP of steering was quoted as saying. The next year the Japanese won by 2 miles. Humiliated, the management of California company laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles and cancelled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they used the money saved by giving a High Performance Award to the steering management team and distributed the rest of the money as bonuses to the senior executives.

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 06:05:58 +0000

I’m sorry, Rob. TOC would have the weakest rower set the pace. Or take over as coxswain.

Otherwise, this is a BusinessPundit classic!