Technology has made everything easier for people living in our culture — and that includes avoiding face-to-face conflict. Don’t want to start a confrontation? You can email, text, chat online, or utilize a number of other means of communicating to express your anger, and you even have access to ticked-off emoticons! >:O
For people looking to “solve” even the most personal and private affairs, now there’s online faxing. Online faxing actually happens to be extremely useful and cost-efficient in the workplace, but that doesn’t mean people won’t hide behind its efficiency for their own means. On Sting Levels from 1 to 10, here are the 9 worst messages you can receive via online faxing.
Sting Level: 1 (sometimes)
If you have a backbone, this probably won’t bother you so much as make you laugh. Did you seriously just get a wedding/birthday/baby shower/whatever invitation via online fax? You’re flabbergasted about the social etiquette of it all. But wait. Were you the only one who got a fax? Did everyone else get a personalized invitation? Does this person just not want to waste an actual interaction with you? And there it is: the paranoia we’re talking about.
Sting Level: 2
It might be weird to see something so positive on here — and trust us, it gets much worse — but this deserves a spot on the list. Marriage proposals usually make romantic stories, but don’t pretend you’d be disappointed if your hubby-to-be sent you an online fax saying, “Oh hey, can we get married, or something?” Plus, with a proposal like that, you can probably expect a virtual engagement ring. Beyonce would not be pleased.
“Dear John” Letter
Sting level: 3
Some people don’t have the decency to break up in person, but they apparently have the time to write up a dramatic, tear-stained goodbye letter and fax it to their new ex. There’s something particularly cruel about receiving such a personal document via a professional communication medium. But hey, at least your former significant other went through the trouble of creating a hand-written note and scanning it instead of sending you an e-greeting. You must have had a somewhat influential impact on him or her!
Sting Level: 3
Oh, did you apply to this amazing college because it has the best program in whatever it is you’ve always wanted to do? You’ve been rejected. Ouch. Here’s the letter you didn’t actually read but merely scanned to find the words “sorry” or “regret.” Good luck, dear student, and try to ignore the irony when the school wishes you the best in your academic endeavors. Also, ponder this: how did the university know where to fax this to? Cue Twilight Zone music.
Sting Level: 4
You requested a home loan so you can start your life with your beautiful new wife or husband, but you just found out via fax that because your credit blows, you’re out of luck. We feel for you, friend, and we suggest you print out this online fax, step outside for a moment, and rip it to shreds Wolverine style. It’s really cathartic.
Sting Level: 4
Applying for your dream job is always an emotional risk, but it’s always good to take it. So you fill out tons of forms and create dazzling resumes and portfolios to meet every one of the company’s demands. But, as it turns out, they’ve decided to go with a different candidate who more closely fits the position. We’re pretty sure the ratio of application documents to rejection documents is 43:1. Let’s just hope they let you online fax your application so you didn’t kill a quarter of the Amazon rainforest for their consideration.
Anything Money Related
Sting Level: 6
There’s nothing worse than finding out you owe a ton of money or will now have to pay more for something. We all dread getting bills, but messages from banks or landlords saying you owe them or letters from the IRS are quite the buzzkill. Of course, receiving this information via online fax at work is bound to totally distract you, which makes you less productive, which means you might get paid less. Again with the irony!
Sting Level: 7
Your boss’s office might be right down the hall, but you know, he’s busy, and walking over to your desk takes time. The fax saying your services are no longer needed at the company is probably not the best method for communicating this sort of thing, but at least you’ve been newly inspired to start faxing out your resume!
Sting Level: 10
Life is pain for you. Things have been rough with your spouse lately, but apparently he or she wants to call it quits. If that wasn’t bad enough — your spouse clearly doesn’t realize that divorce papers must be mailed or delivered by someone in person. Or maybe your spouse is just a Grade A jerk and just wanted to give you a heads-up while at work, in which case, you probably deserve better, anyway!
Whether it’s bad news in general or just something completely ridiculous to send via online fax, we hope none of these messages ends up in your inbox. Also, always remember when you’re about to send out an online fax — only give what you wish to receive!