This week’s jobs have a fire, wood, and heater theme, indicating fall is in the air. There’s also a massive job fair for people with security clearances, a foolproof indicator of upcoming elections…
1. Indiana: Presto Heater/Costco Merchandiser
Seasonal Part-Time Job. Check “Presto Heater Display” twice daily in local Costco store. Light merchandising of display required. Must have excellent people skills and be able to work with Costco store management. A perfect P/T job for retiree or housewife.
Big hair and flammable sweaters not recommended.
2. Virginia: Security Clearance EXPO Job Fair 50+ Companies – Clearance Required!
BRING AT LEAST 30 UN-STAPLED COPIES OF YOU RESUME
You will interview directly with employees of the companies. Each company will be setting up a booth in the ballroom (much like a trade show) where you will meet and interview directly with hiring managers from these companies.
Before you enter the ballroom (where the companies listed above will be interviewing you) you will be asked for a copy of your resume by the Security Clearance EXPO staff. You will then need to show this person what level clearance you have (as stated on your resume) and the type of position you are looking for. Make sure your resume lists your current SECURITY CLEARANCE and any other Clearances you have held in the past.
Wen Ho Lee, if you try to come to our job fair one more time, we’re going to have you shot on sight.
3. Alaska: Discovery toy Rep: Discounted Colorful Fun Education
Throwing parties, selling toys. or you could simply get a discount on toys. Either way you will be joining U.S.A. leading sales TEAM, for Discovery Toys If you are motivated, earn your own SUV or even a Jet!
AAA batteries and miniature pilot for jet not included.
4. Nationwide: Great Slot Open for Meticulous Persons
Leading Company is seeking out workers who are extremely devoted and scrupulous
Excellent assignment available with our rapidly growing network
Recompense of $450 to $575 wkly
No need for former experience, we provide excellent training upon your request
“Devoted, scrupulous, and meticulous”: The ultimate pyramid scheme for people who can’t sell.
5. Alaska: Airline Ramp
Want to enjoy the short summer months outdoors as much as possible?? Than this is right up your alley. Work outside, stay in or get in great physical condition, and use travel benefits to go fishing, hunting, vacation.
DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES:
• Fueling of A/C and ground equipment
• Operation of ground support equipment according to company policy
• Assist with aircraft towing
• Loading & unloading of aircraft
• Other duties as assigned
You may lose your hearing and inhale cancerous benzene particles—but hey, you’re outdoors!
6. Montana: Fireplace Service Tech
Experienced Fireplace Service Technician to repair and maintain a variety of fireplace and stoves in Kalispell, MT. Will schedule appointments, diagnose problems, order and install parts,and do billing. Vehicle and tools provided – will be responsible for maintaining these.
Though you spends yer time in ashes and soot, you’ll find no ‘appier bloke in the ‘ole wide world…
7. Montana: Leisure Agent for Travel Agency
POSITION: Leisure Agent
REPORTS TO: Office Manager
HOURS: Full Time
•1- 2 years previous leisure travel experience preferred, domestic and international
•Friendly, outgoing personality
•Excellent customer service skills
•Bilingual preferred but not required
Expressing dedication to leisure by wearing velvet bathrobes to work, having your pedicurist file your toenails underneath your desk, and constantly nibbling on miniature quiches a plus.
8. Stack Firewood (Seacoast, Southern NH)
I will stack your firewood for $30 per cord.
• Location: Seacoast, Southern NH
• Compensation: 30 per cord
Cut, Split, Stack, Deliver (your) Firewood (Central NH)
Am available for cutting, splitting, stacking &/or delivering firewood with your equipment (chainsaw, splitter or maul/wedge) &/or vehicle. Willing to travel within reasonable radius of Central NH. Phone is best contact method. Thank you.
Together, we are the axman monopoly of New Hampshire. If you’re in central or southern New Hampshire, and you call anyone but us, we’re going send your ass into the woodchipper.