This Week’s Weird Jobs

ted-haggard

A couple of this week’s job postings look like they were written by eminent or notorious figures. See for yourself what I’m talking about:

1. New York: coll. grad – – Intl Affairs

2nd assistant with outstanding administrative assistant skills for of high profile former White House cabinet member .
undergraduate degree and several years experience.
Interest in political / international affairs a +

Ability to help said former cabinet member finally explain unknown unknowns to the general public a plus.

2. San Francisco: Graveyard Corporate Travel Concierge

We are seeking experienced corporate travel consultants, ready for a change in direction, to service client members from our Tele-Center in San Francisco.

Qualifications:
• Minimum 2 years experience as a corporate travel agent.
• Previous experience working with VIP clientele.
• Possess an exemplary positive attitude; is passionate about offering unparalleled customer service and excels in maintaining excellent associate relations

Must sound happy, fresh, and helpful at 3 a.m. Ouch.

3. San Francisco: Business Broker

Business Intermediaries assist sellers in achieving liquidity and a fair price for their business, while helping buyers successfully realize their goal of owning their own business.

We offer a generous commission schedule. Well qualified candidates typically earn first commissions within six to nine months. Our top associates earn 300K on up.

Candidates should have a strong work ethic, effective communication and persuasion skills, emotional maturity, and high ethical standards.

Note: You will be dealing mostly in broke businesses.

4. Denver: G/L writer wanted

Gay or lesbian writer (semi-professional) wanted to help with book project. Book subject:one gay man’s journey into and out of the united methodist church. Involves some research and regular meetings with me. Needed as soon as possible; previous writer working with me decided we “were not a good fit.” Whatever.

Looks like Ted Haggard is finally getting that book written.

5. Denver: MORTUARY TRANSPORT

Position requires an individual with a professional, clean appearance, and must be able to remove and handle human remains in a safe and dignified manner.

Duties & Responsibilities:
-Must be able to remove and handle human remains in a dignified and safe manner. (Ability to preform heavy lifting.)
– Required to explain and answer questions regarding services in a dignified manner to families, funeral directors. (Will provide training.)
-Must maintain good personal hygiene and a professional appearance (no visible tattoos).
– Must be able to obtain information for death calls and follow directions.

Job is guaranteed recession-proof.

Happy Friday!

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