This week’s cast of characters include tickling victims, unexploited lawyers, bad directors, and hackers. You know, the kind of people you’d meet at a bus station, or in a Saturday Night Live skit:
1. London: Model required for tickling video
Model required for new starter producing tickling fetish videos for paysite.
Must be genuinely ticklish.
Amateur models welcome.
I’ve never met a ticklish person who actually likes being tickled. This is porn-job hell.
2. Boston: Counsel Needed
We are an 11-attorney, AV rated firm. This is an ideal opportunity for recent big firm castoffs who think they can generate $100-$150K initially, and use our platform to launch their practices to bigger and better things. If it makes sense for you to work from home (and pay less overhead), we have the technology for seamless virtual offices with IP phones.
We are not hiring people, so folks looking for a job need not apply. We are growing our firm through laterals with portable books of business, or at least enough business to support themselves and their share of the overhead while they use our platform to get going. This is not a proposal of exploitation by any means – it follows the concept that a rising tide raises all ships.
A job ad with a disclaimer that nobody will be exploited? Fishy.
3. Boston: Actress needed for dubbing
Hello. I am a local filmmaker and am retooling a film of mine. I was not satisfied with the performance of the lead actress when I shot this film years ago.
I need an actress, age 18-25, from the South Shore or Boston area with good voice talent who can redub the roles. The actress was 19 at the time of shooting.
I didn’t have enough money for another take last time.
4. New Delhi: Computer operator cum office assistant
We are looking for a male/female computer operator cum office assistant , must have good english & internet knowledge
* Compensation: usual salary
This job ad highlights cultural differences between India and the States. First of all, any job ad with the word “cum” in it would have very different implications. Secondly, I’ve never seen “the usual salary” listed. Interesting.
5. Tel Aviv: HACKER NEEDED
Trader needs experienced hacker/former hacker to help with security issues. Mmust be extremly familiar with remote keylogging, password hack and overall security issues that are jeoperdizing my proprietary trading algos. If you are not familiar with security hacks in the trading world , need not respond.
* Compensation: AS MUCH AS YOUR WORTH
At the end, please provide me a list of…err, “my” trading algorithms, so that I can, uh, make sure they’re correct and everything.
Happy Friday, and Merry Christmas!