Dearest boom pumpers, erectors, and food expediters: I mean you no disrespect, but your job titles are pretty funny:
1. Fairbanks: Experienced Concrete Boom Pump Operator
Immediate opening for qualified Concrete Boom Pump Operator with mechanical background. Must have valid CDL, and working knowledge of Morgen booms. Salary DOE.
I know a concrete boom pump is truck-mounted, but the job title still sounds incredibly cool, invoking images of men with strong pecs and bad hearing. “I run a concrete boom pump” could be an excellent bar pickup line…
2. Wasilla: Building Erection wanted
Looking for a couple guys who can , or have, ereected a Miracle Steel building. Give me a quote to erect and install exterior metal.
Once again, a lovely job title-cum-pickup line, though a bit more forward than boom pump.
3. Alaska: Food Expediter
Theatrepub is looking for an experienced food expediter. This position is very fast paced and requires extreme organizational skills. Must have good attitude and work well with others. Part time/Full time.
Food expediter? Now they’re even giving fast food cooks fancy titles.
4. National: Cat-Lover Television Host Needed
Searching for a CAT-LOVING TELEVISION HOST.
If you’re 20’ish to 40’ish, know a bunch about cats, are open, outgoing, camera-friendly, charming and stand a solid chance at being the biggest cat lover in all of the feline universe – you could be just what we’re looking for! We are seeking the Anthony Bourdain of the feline world to be the backbone of our cat crazy travel show on a MAJOR CABLE NETWORK.
Your skill set includes the following:
-A deep personal understanding of cats, AND cat people AND the ability to connect with both.
-An understanding and appreciation of cat culture – you get a kick out of it, no matter how wacky.
-An ability to make cats hilarious & fascinating – your cat stories make even devoted dog lovers listen & laugh.
-You can turn a cat tale into something universal.
Somehow, I can’t imagine racy coverage of the dark underbelly of the cat world, which Bourdain pulled off with cuisine. This show could be interesting.
5. LA: Experience Drivers in L.A
National transportation company is looking for drivers for a part time postion in the area of Central Los Angeles, Long Beach, and West/East Los Angeles.
Must drive at least 85 on most roads, compulsively cut people off, and have a strong middle finger.