This Week’s Weird Jobs

zzfirelookout

Would you trust a guy named Bobwho told you to “take control of your futur in a nation…which has been created by you and I?” Sometimes the ability to be articulate really counts. But don’t let that dissuade you. If you like grammatically challenged guys named Bob, midnight golf, and fire lookouts, this week’s list is for you:

1. NJ: Graveyard Range Attendant

P/T Graveyard Range Attendants needed. (Shift 10 pm – 6 am). Must be able to work weekends and holidays. Position is outside and pays $8.00 per hour. Some golf privileges included.

Must deal with weirdos who like to golf at 3am.

2. LA: help filling out bankruptcy papers

need help in the next 10 days/ evenings/ I need someone who is good w. numbers & knows about this

Please take my car as payment. I advise you to repaint it and change the license plate.

3. Hollywood: This is an opportunity to work for a DATING service

We are looking for stunnigly attractive females 18-35, all ethnicities welcome, HOT body all the works to accompany our clients on dinner dates, events, a day at the mall or companion ship. You may be required (so expect) to offer full body massage, dance and to show the client a good time. NOT A SEX SERVICE.

SERIOUS CANDIDATES NEED ONLY APPLY

OK, ok, it’s a sex service. Just don’t tell us if you do it.


4. Orange County: “9 to 5 Dosen’t Work Anymore”

Dear Friends,

In these hard economic times we are all looking for some sort of security in the wrong places. Since the last time we spoke, 11.1 million unemployed has rose to 13.7 million on May 8, 2009 here in the United States and still growing.

How long will it take for people to realize that we should take control of our own futur?We are a nation that has technology that far surpasses any other country, which has been created by people like you and I. So without having to even stress the fact of the “obvious” which comes to, there is no such thing as “job security” in this day and age.

If you are interested in learning the business in which you control and how you will find that the more ideas you come across, the more successful you will be, just give me a call or send me an email so I can show you how to be successful in this business.

Sincerely,
Bob

Hope he isn’t selling grammar books.

5. GS-4 Fire Lookout for Desolation Peak in North Cascades National Park

There is currently an announcement on USAJOBS for a GS-4 Fire Lookout for Desolation Peak in North Cascades National Park. This lookout is a remote one, travel by boat across Ross Lake, then a 6 mile strenuous hike up to the lookout. The only water available is what you can melt down from the last winter’s snow.

Heavily introverted people with the ability to ruminate for days on end preferred.

Happy Friday!

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