How much would you charge to dry and grind a placenta? I’m not kidding. Check out #5 on this week’s (icky) jobs:
1. LA: Do you suffer from Contamination, Religious or Checking Obsessions?
3 Ball Productions, the production company behind NBC’s hit show, “The Biggest Loser,” and many other shows with a positive message and impact on society, is producing a new non-exploitative documentary style series, “The OCD Project”.
We are searching for people who suffer from OCD. Six chosen applicants will receive four free weeks of intensive therapy conducted in a group setting by a prestigious doctor who has been highly successful in the treatment and advances of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
All expenses will be paid, including room, board and all therapy sessions. Each participant will also receive an ample weekly compensation.
Charlie Sheen, Warren Zevon, and Wynona Ryder, we know you have OCD. Don’t try to revive your careers with us.
2. Mexico: Bartender for Tijuana German Pub
Authentic German Style Pub opening in the bustling and growing city of Tijuana, Mexico. Looking to fill all positions with german/english/spanish speaking staff. Experience preferred but will train right candidates. Positions include kitchen, bar, servers, doorman, DJ. Please reply for more information if interested.
Please specify your hat and waist size so that we can outfit you with lederhosen and a sombrero.
3. LA: Producer Needed For Feature
Producer needed for SAG ultra low budget feature film. We are trying to get at least one recognizable name actor. Nothing is in place, except the director, most equipment, and funding. Everything else will be your job, which will begin immediately, with principle photography projected to start early November.
THERE IS NO PAY (gas and minimal expenses will be reimbursed). No experience is required to apply. Please do not apply if you cannot commit 3-4 months of full time work without pay.
Anyone lacking a trust fund need not apply.
4. Montana: Sleep Tech
Currently seeking a Sleep Technologist for immediate hire in a rural hospital. This is a temporary position, with 10 hour night shifts beginning at 8:00pm, for 2 to 3 weeks, Monday through Thursday.
– Must be certified in sleep
– Hospital experience preferred
I know sleep certification is an official thing, but I definitely feel certified in sleep. Does that count for something?
5. Florida: I need someone to dry my placenta
I am due in June. I have read a lot about how great for your health it is to eat your placenta (after all, most mammals, even vegetarians, do this). Unfortunately I don’t have a strong enough stomach to just eat it, so it was recommended to me that I dry it out in a food dehydrator, put it in a coffee grinder, and put it in capsules to take daily. Again, I just don’t have the stomach (and may not have the energy after birth to do this.) What I need is someone who is reliable…someone who has given birth or watched a birth, knows what a placenta looks/smells like/etc, who is 100% comfortable handling something like this. I have read that it can take up to 10 hours of work. Please e-mail me why you would be willing to do this and how much you would charge.
Please no stupid e-mails.