If you’re desperate for a job, know that some jobs are desperate for you, too. All you have to do is act like a deranged zombie, accept a pittance of a wage, or transport live chickens without killing them. I couldn’t make this stuff up:
1. FLA: Actors needed for Zombie attraction
We are currently looking for actors to fill positions of Doctor Jones. This is a seasonal position!
Your job will be to act as a very paranoid and eccentric doctor through densely wooded trails, as guests find their way through a total immersion action adventure.
There will be lines that will need to be memorized and be able to scream VERY loud.
Pay will be $7.25 an hour.
Do you get a bonus if you really are a very paranoid and eccentric doctor?
2. CO: Entry Level Collector
Collection Agency – looking to fill an entry level collector position.
The position requirements:
– Hard worker – must be willing to stay on the phone & hustle
– Come to work every day
– On time for work
– No Slackers
We have plenty of work!
Start @ $9 – $10 per hour
Come to work every day? No slackers? They don’t set their standards very high. Then again, collection ain’t exactly a dream job.
3. FLA: Tiki Bar Server – Part Time
A resort is looking for a Tiki Bar Server. Please see qualifications below.
•High school or equivalent education required
•Minimum of a year experience as food server
•Customer service experience is preferred.
If interested, please send your resume by replying to this ad.
Compensation: $4.23/hour plus tips
$4.23/hour? This bar better be insanely busy, or have some high-end clients.
4. Orlando: Be the Highest Paid 220 in Orlando
We need motivated, market connected SALES PROS!!! We are willing to pay for what we want.
You will get either a weekly minimum guarantee (to help you during the off weeks) or 80% of the commissions for the sales you make.
Do the math…if you sell 8 Home or Auto policies a week at your current job do you make $1000….you would with use.
Send a resume today before the spots are filled.
Even if it was a misspelling, “you would with use” works oddly well in this situation…
5. TX: i need help moving my chickens
I have approximately 1,243 chickens that need to be transported, i began my journey with my mini van but just was not working out, too many trips and too much shit and feathers, and with no ac it makes it very difficult when constantly tempted to roll the windows down, and because doing it all by hand i have lost 1 out of 4 chickens with my first 3 trips. if you have reasonable transportation for this chicken operation plz let me know. thank you.
After reading this, I’m amazed the guy can run a chicken farm in the first place.