This Week’s Weird Jobs

booze

This week’s jobs are the kinds of gigs you take when you’re out of other options. Vodka salesperson. Mascot. Strong person who loads mystery objects into a truck. And if you can’t do any of that, why not try to turn your kid into a famous actor? Only one job on this entire list requires specialized skills…can you guess which one it is?

1. Denver: Child Actors Sought for Short Film

Looking for child actors for a short film.

A coming of age story about a creative young boy struggling to abandon his imaginary friend while searching for acceptance from a neighborhood group of soccer playing kids.

We are looking for:
Male lead actor, 8-10 y/o in appearance
Male supporting actor, 11-13 y/o in appearance
Female supporting actress, 7-10 y/o in appearance
Male and Female extras, 10-14 y/o in appearance

Children with real-life imaginary friends encouraged to apply.

2. Denver: Sell New U.S. Made Vodka for commission (profits go to veterans)

Need sales people to work for 10-15% commission. Breaks down to $12-18 per 6 bottle case sold, upward sliding scale. Obviously bigger accounts mean bigger orders & more commission, but small, high volume accounts can be good too if handled properly.

Can be part or full-time.

Our last employee thought the vodka, not the profits, went to veterans. Please don’t make the same mistake.

3. Idaho: MASCOT WANTED

INTERVIEWING FOR RELIABLE PERSON FOR MASCOT POSITION. WORK VARIOUS LOCATION IN THE CITY. MUST HAVE FUN PERSONALITY. PLEASE CONTACT FOR APPOINTMENT.

* Compensation: $8 PER HR

We’re not telling you what kind of mascot you’ll be, because it’s kind of embarrassing. Just apply and wear the hot pink beaver suit, OK?

4. Maine: DONUT BAKER

Looking for a donut baker with at least 3 years experiance in Handcut Donuts. Please apply at Brooklyn’s Bakery, located at 65 main st in Biddeford, Maine. Only apply during the hours of 2 pm and 5 pm monday thru friday. Ask for Debbie.

* Compensation: Shift pay is $80 per shift

Baking eclairs or bear claws will result in your termination.

5. East Texas: Looking for three strong arms

looking for three strong young men to come help us load a couple of heavy items into the back of a pickup. These items weigh well over 600 pounds each. We’ll only need help for about 15 minutes. There’ll be two of us, so 5 should be able to get it done no problem.

Holler back if interested.

* Compensation: 15 dollars each

Those “heavy items” are actually sedated cougars, but we’re not gonna tell you that in the ad.