This Week’s Weird Jobs

buttspandex
Image: blue1987tail/Flickr

Bingo, energy buzzes, and butts characterize this week’s weird jobs.
If that’s not your cup of tea, you can always spend four hours sitting on someone’s lap. $10 an hour, kid you not:

1. WA: Need someone to sit on lap

I have bad back problems, and need someone to sit on my lap for four hours a day ,it helps me straigten my, back I know it sound weird but it helps , willing to pay ten dollars and hour for four hours , twice a week , has to be in good shape and looking for a male to do it because they are stronger to do this sort of job, if you are interested e mail , this is not bs ,you could watch tv, use computer I will even give you food, please respond , just want to let you know that I am not gay or anything like that , just need the weight of you leaning on me , that is all, and sitting on me helps , trust me this is not what I wanted but it helps, thank you

The poster forgot to mention that people with gas probably aren’t welcome.

2. MN: Need discrimination, civil rights

I desperately need to find an attorney to represent me in a civil case that I have filed in court.
It is a federal case for discrimination, harassment, violating both human and civil rights, bullying, mobbing at the work place. The amount of the case if for 350 thousand and I need to find a attorney that fights for what is right and the truth and will reresent me on a contingincy basis, much of the prep work has already been performed.

Please contact me if you are interested.

Mobbing at the workplace? I assume this person either worked at a police precinct or an oil rig. If it’s an office, this really is an interesting case.

3. MN: DERRIERE MODELS FOR FITNESS VIDEO

DERRIERE MODELS NEEDED FOR FITNESS VIDEO. NO EXPERIENCE!!! MUST BE 18… IF YOU LOVE FITNESS, PEOPLE AND THE SPOTLIGHT. THIS IS FOR YOU!!!!!!!! PLEASE SEND IN A FULL FRONT PICTURE, FULL SIDE PICTURE, AND FULL BACK PICTURE IN BRIGHT FITNESS CLOTHING.

You may love people and the spotlight, but we don’t really care about that as long as your butt looks good in pink spandex.

4. OR: SMART ENERGY DRINK SALES REP

• Long established company is launching a new Smart Energy Drink..
• Energy drink features sugar free with “no associated crash” .
• Tastes great and only 2 calories – healthy.
• Key benefits ‘Boosts energy’ and ‘creates mental alertness’.
• Taste test the drink and you will be sold on it.
• Great opportunity for the right person to establish market share and earn residual income.
• Full or part-time position and paid on commission.
• Call to arrange for an interview.

Whatever you do, don’t look tired, hungover, or bored when you try to sell this stuff.

5. OR: Seeking Unusual Trivia or Bingo Caller

Hey there. We are a bar currently seeking someone who knows how to / is willing to learn how to / host a cool Trivia or Bingo night.

What’s our idea of cool? Yeah, I guess that’s important!

For Trivia:
We’d rather be quizzed about Ozzy than the Philharmonic and questions about How I Met Your Mother and Adult Swim will go over better than TV trivia about HGTV and Lou Dobbs . Knowutimean? Less Darfur and more Dark Crystal.

For Bingo:
Think how bingo is for old people, and then reverse it in every way imaginable – aside from the fact that it’s still bingo.

Sounds like a really fun game night. Where’s that bar again?

Happy Friday!