This Week’s Weird Jobs

This week’s weird jobs boast some rather McGyverish titles. Information hunter/gatherer. Pig roaster. Wingwoman. Which job would you prefer?

1. MI: Information Hunter / Gatherer

We would like to talk with you about a solid work opportunity with an established company. This is a telephone based non-sales position that requires gathering information from those currently employed in the corporate workforce, nationwide.

To be successful, you will need:

– Verbal communication skills that are well above average, matching the corporate workforce
– A personality that has ‘No Fear’ in asking questions to obtain information
– To work unscripted and overcome objections while on the phone
– Persistence and polite aggressiveness in obtaining information
– To interpret the information gathered and go back for more until complete
– To summarize the information you gather and enter it into a database

Aside from the general workforce, we welcome inquiries from the recently retired, those returning to the workforce from childcare responsibilities, and college or graduate students with open schedules.

Does calling market research “information hunting and gathering” really make it that much more exciting?

2. CO: Need Pig Roasters for Wedding!

We are looking for someone that has experiance roasting a pig for a wedding. If you would like to do it, or know of anyone that does it please email me.We are expecting 175-250 people. Thanks!!

If you really don’t know how to roast a pig, and bring an Internet printout telling you how to, we would appreciate you concealing it.

3. CA: Need Cleaning Lady For One 5 ft by 7 ft BATHROOM

What : Need A Cleaning Lady / Crew For One ( 1 ) Tiled Bathroom – 7ft by 5ft
Whats involved: One Bathtub shower , One Sink , One Toilet – thats all !!
How much : $15
What else : You bring your own cleaning supplies

One bathtub, one sink, one toilet…and 20 gallons of horrendous, unnamable body excretus.

4. NY: NEED PROPERTY FLAGGED

I have a survey but need property flagged to indicate the borders between myself and my neighbors. I can provide the site map and measurements. Need you to place flags at a modest cost.
thank you

My neighbor tried to shoot me last time I placed those flags. I need you as a decoy to mark my territory.

5. San Francisco: Wingwomen wanted – $30/hr

Wingwomen wanted! A wingwoman is a woman who goes into a social situation with the purpose of helping the guy or guys she is with meet women. This is actually an extremely easy and fun job, but many women find it so counter-intuitive that they simply cannot do it. The role is a wingwoman is to:

-Relax, laugh, have a good time, and emanate a genuine, positive energy.
-Recognize that her presence alone and her silence are often all that are needed!
-Understand or be willing to learn the counter-intuitive principals of how men really attract women.

This is not about you expressing your opinion on relationships, dating, how you think dating should take place, or offering advice. What it is about is getting paid to have a great time doing the most fun, exciting, easy job you have ever done!

I am a classy professional who was part of a group in NYC that employed four part-time wingwomen for the past year. I have recently moved to San Francisco, and am looking to hire two part-time wingwomen to join me at cocktail parties, nights out at the best lounges and clubs, charity events, and other Bay Area happenings.

My goal is to find a serious relationship with the right woman, and to have a lot of fun searching for her and meeting new people in the process. Please include a photo with your response. I look forward to hearing from you, and possibly to working with you!

If you’re really cute, I might consider dating you instead.

Happy Friday!

Written by Drea Knufken

Currently, I create and execute content- and PR strategies for clients, including thought leadership and messaging. I also ghostwrite and produce press releases, white papers, case studies and other collateral.