This Week’s Weird Jobs

This week’s weird jobs include shuttling around drunk people, pretending you’re a cop, and rockin’ out to tunes in an Easter Bunny outfit:

1. Washington, DC: Seeking Fat Male

Need a very large/obese man for photograph. If you have a Police Costume that would be great! Very easy will meet at a Subway or Chipotle for about 30 minutes. This is for a comedic poster so sense of humor is a must and will basically be snapping pictures while you eat and will also spray face with misting water bottle to simulate sweat.

Will let you know if interested thank you very much.

Note: If you’re an actual policeman, this job poster probably doesn’t want you to apply.

2. Washington, DC: Pro Designated Drivers Needed

Want the chance to make money while working to keep our roads safer? Our hours are late, our team is fun and no one works alone. 1 in 10 cars are late-model “exotics” – Mercedes SL63, Jaguar XK-R’s, Masarati’s. If staying up late works for you, these gigs are some of the best work that you will ever do!

We are looking for drivers – people available during nights (especially Fri/Sat) to a) drive people home AND b) to return other drivers to their cars or to the next location (interceptors). This occurs on short notice.

Requirements are:
Late night availability.
Take direction effectively.
Good customer service skills.
Creativity about getting around – using metro, buses and taxis and walking up to 2 miles.

Why isn’t ability to deal with yelling, moody, and possibly vomiting drunk people included as a job requirement?

3. Washington, DC: Seeking bag piper or step dancer

Seeking a bag piper that wants to play a few tunes,
If you are a great step dancer, e-mail us as well!
for our big ST Patty’s event on March 12.

March must be a bagpiper’s busiest month.

4. Virginia: NEED EASTER BUNNIES

Goooood evening!

We’re looking for a couple good Easter Bunnies. We are looking for a couple people who fit ALL of the following ideals. These characteristics are a MUST!

Must love or at least generally enjoy children.
Must have excellent customer service skills.
Must be able to not talk if hired as the bunny. Literally….the Easter Bunny is not supposed to speak at all….so it makes for a much easier job. You can have freaking headphones on, as long as you pay attention.

Pay ranges from 7.50-9.00/hr with up to 40/hrs a week.

I can picture the headphones thing now: “Mommy, why is the Easter Bunny dancing? Why won’t he listen to me?”

5. US: Anonymous Diary Exchange

$20 gets you the diary revealing a stranger’s most darkest thoughts, fears, obsessions, confessions. The social project has just launched so learn more about the project and how you can become an anonymous stranger.

Um, job poster? You’re not selling this very well.

Happy Friday!