This Week’s Weird Jobs

Image: R’Eyes/Flickr

Are you a redheaded ninja who also happens to be a recovered alcoholic with strong arms?
You’ll be perfect for this week’s weird jobs:

1. NY: need help to move a sofa right now!

Seeking someone on help me move a sofa right now first come first serve.

Are these the kind of jobs New Yorkers are fighting over these days?

2. CO: Do you have red hair?

If you have red hair (natural or dyed) and have interest in modeling, I would like to work with you!

I am a photographer doing a side project for fun on red heads and balloons. It should be alot of fun. Being open to partial, tasteful, somewhat anonymous nudity is preferred, but not required. I am happy to explain that in greater detail. The finished product will be somewhat abstract, and hopefully really cool. :)
If you are interested, drop me a line and lets chat!

Red heads, balloons and a preference toward nudity? Forget fun, Craig, your side project sounds like a riot.

3. OK: i need 4 clean guys

i have a large gig moving furniture out to trash cans i need 4 guys to work all day tomarrow 10-12.00 hr based on exp. there is lots of work involved so if you dont like to work dont bother.

My last guy was surrounded by flies and took a nap after moving one chair. I need you clean and able.

4. Help an alcoholic get sober $4000

Recently out of detox, and would prefer to seek in-home treatment. I need someone that has recovered from alcohol abuse successfully and worked the 12 step program. Here’s what I’m looking for: a live-in sponsor for one month. Take me to meetings, make sure I go to my out-patient program, make sure I don’t make a run to the store for vodka…I’m not looking for a friend, but that would be a plus. A little about me: 38 year old married male. I have 2 children, that live out-of-state with my ex-wife. I have not seen them in over a year due to my addiction. I am not currently working, and will be spending my entire time recovering (for the next month). My wife and I are very casual and laid back. She is completely supportive. Here’s what I offer: live in a 3500 s.f. home on 1.5 acres with pool, private bedroom, bath, and additional room (you can make it an office, den, whatever) on your own side of the house. Full house privileges. All living expenses covered, and $4000 payment for the month (paid weekly). We have a large gated yard, and two outdoor dogs. If you have a pet, you can bring it along. 2 days off a week (we’re thinking Sunday & Monday, but that’s negotiable). Start asap.

Tough gig and I hope this guy gets the help he is looking for.

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5. CA: Code Ninjas/Cowboys/Rockstars (Every possible buzz word we can use)

Is coding at work tedious and monotonous? Do you have to endure a lot of red tape to speak with your executives about a new idea you have? Are you interested in open source and do you contribute to them? Do you like test-driven development and being in an agile environment? Are you inquisitive and naturally curious about the world?

If you answered yes to the above…you are the candidate we want to speak with and we are the company you are going to love working for.

In addition to coding, you must master the air guitar, look stealth in black and be willing to polish your own saddle.

Happy Friday!

Written by Drea Knufken

Drea Knufken

Currently, I create and execute content- and PR strategies for clients, including thought leadership and messaging. I also ghostwrite and produce press releases, white papers, case studies and other collateral.