Image: Martin LaBar/Flickr
Caricature drawers, cactus extractors, cleaners of rats, and Brian Jackson, listen up. We have jobs for you this week:
1. OK: Caricature Needed
I am needing to get a caricature of a little dog.
I can come to you. I need it kind of soon. Let me know your thoughts.
My girlfriend had a caricature of her bijon frise up on her kitchen wall, but I broke it practicing ninjujitsu with a set of cooking spoons. I need to replace it before she comes home. Any small dog caricature will do, just hurry.
2. AZ: Help need Cactus Extracted!
Hi I have a cactus the diameter is about 3 feet and it stands about 5 feet tall. I need it extracted from my backyard.
It is a mature plant so please be prepared and it is a dangerous plant meaning not only is it thorny but the “juice” emitted from this cactus will cause a severe rash. I’ve experienced it first hand. Take all these things into consideration and submit your bid accordingly.
Unfortunately it’s in my backyard and there is no access for landmoving equipment.
please also let me know how you plan on doing this, and how long (guess) do you think it might take?
I suggest you bid enough to cover your medical costs after the cactus juices you and you end up in the ER.
3. CA: Show my wife and I the sites $15 an hour + meals
My wife and I are driving down the coast from portland. Will be touring SF on the 30th. Looking for a nice local to show us the sites we might not otherwise see. I will ask for, and contact a referance. We will provide meals and any enterance fees. Would like to start about 8:00am. Plan on an 10 to 12 hour day. Thanks!
By the way, our names are Mr. and Mrs. Bickerson, and we agree on nothing. But don’t let our constant fighting distract you.
4. DC: I got rats in my back yard and I need them gone $5
I looking for someone to get rid of some rats that live under my deck in my back yard.
Hey big spender, you better post this job on the lamp post next to your local elementary school. Nobody else will crawl under your deck and fish out those rats of yours for $5.
5. TX: Looking for Brian Jackson
Looking for Brian Jackson (one of the hardest working fellas I’ve ever hired). You worked with me in the landscaping industry a while, my phones died and I lost your number. Leaving the country soon and need to talk to you.
Nice shout out to Mr. Jackson. We are dedicating this week’s weird jobs to you.