Sometimes, you need to figure out for yourself what a job poster is trying to say. Image: Criterion/Flickr
Job descriptions that don’t really describe anything are all too common on job boards. This week’s #2 and #5 are cases in point:
1. Indiana: Presto Heater/Costco Merchandiser
Seasonal Part-Time Job. Check “Presto Heater Display” twice daily in local Costco store. Light merchandising of display required. Must have excellent people skills and be able to work with Costco store management. A perfect P/T job for retiree or housewife.
Big hair and flammable sweaters not recommended.
2. Alaska: Discovery toy Rep: Discounted Colorful Fun Education
Throwing parties, selling toys. or you could simply get a discount on toys. Either way you will be joining U.S.A. leading sales TEAM, for Discovery Toys If you are motivated, earn your own SUV or even a Jet!
AAA batteries and miniature pilot for jet not included.
3. Alaska: Airline Ramp
Want to enjoy the short summer months outdoors as much as possible?? Than this is right up your alley. Work outside, stay in or get in great physical condition, and use travel benefits to go fishing, hunting, vacation.
DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES:
• Fueling of A/C and ground equipment
• Operation of ground support equipment according to company policy
• Assist with aircraft towing
• Loading & unloading of aircraft
• Other duties as assigned
You may lose your hearing and inhale cancerous benzene particles—but hey, you’re outdoors!
4. Montana: Leisure Agent for Travel Agency
POSITION: Leisure Agent
REPORTS TO: Office Manager
HOURS: Full Time
•1- 2 years previous leisure travel experience preferred, domestic and international
•Friendly, outgoing personality
•Excellent customer service skills
•Bilingual preferred but not required
Expressing dedication to leisure by wearing velvet bathrobes to work, having your pedicurist file your toenails underneath your desk, and constantly nibbling on miniature quiches a plus.
5. Ottowa: Seeking Motivated Woman and Men
Fast growing Home Base company looking for new associates in the local & surrounding areas, to deliver valuable information either by telephone or email to people waiting to hear from us regarding our IN-DEMAND digital products and business packages.
* $1,000 – $2,500 weekly Guarantee
* NO selling, explaining or cold calling
* Unlimited training and company support
* Flexible hrs – lucrative benefits package
Reply Now or Call Larry to learn more!
The work, according to Larry:
Recipient gushes wildly: “Thank you so much for calling! I was waiting to hear from you! Please tell me about your IN-DEMAND digital business package…”
You clear your throat and enlighten them.
They write you a check.
The work, according to real life:
They cuss you out, then hang up on you.
You try again 235 times.
Someone buys a package.
Larry takes a 75% cut, then encourages you to attend a motivational seminar (only $59.99, plus tax) to boost your chances of success.