This Week’s Weird Jobs

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Sometimes, job posters ask for truly unique skill combinations. For example, a phlebotomist who knows how to market. Or an art salesman who knows how to be a stockbroker. We found some unique combinations below, interspersed with plain ol’ weird job postings:

1. Seattle: Phlebotomist With Marketing Experience

Great opportunity for experienced phlebotomist with marketing experience for immediate opening. Self starter, to start up business for people who don’t have insurance that need to have blood work done. Duties include part time work in established drug testing company. Split commission plus hourly wage.

A phlebotomist with marketing experience who works on commission. Does that strike anyone else as a little scary?

2. Florida: Fertility Sales Specialist

We are seeking a dynamic individual to develop new business in the South.

QUALIFIED CANDIDATES SHOULD…

-Have a minimum of 3 years sales experience (Pharma. Helpful)
-4 year College Degree
-Stand out from their competition
-Team Player
-Extensive travel required
-Ability to maintain ongoing support to clients

Must be immune to reactions of mild-mannered Southerners upon hearing about ovulation and sperm banks.

3. Experienced Criminal Defense Attorney

Seeking a seasoned experienced criminal defense attorney. Full time opening. Experience working in the private sector preferred but not required. Please submit resume for review.

We have an entire lineup of Wall Street CEOs just waiting to be defended.

4. Seattle: Hard Work-Low Pay

Cleaning, painting, stocking, repair, lifting and moving of Arcade Machines. Drivers Lic, personal references, mechanical ability, honest & reliable.

Heck, at least they’re honest about what they have to offer.

5. New Mexico: Topknocth Art Salesmen

Seeking experienced “closers” with high-end selling experience i.e. car sales, time share sales, securities, or insurance. Our sales track is derived from the insurance industry and Wall Street. This job has a six figure earning potential in its first year.

We can teach you the art side of the business, but sales experience is a must; this job is for a master salesman. Experience closing sales is completely necessary. WE HAVE NO COMPETITION! THIS IS THE REAL DEAL!!!

We just can’t spell. At all.

Happy Friday!