The Real Reason The Walmart Bribery Scandal Is Important

The New York Times uncorked a massively startling case of injustice. And I’m not talking about Walmart’s policy of underpaying the friendly door greeters receipt inspectors.

The New York Times revealed that Walmart’s largest international growth market Mexico was made possible by what could go down as one of the biggest scandals in American corporate history.


Now that’s a huge deal because Walmart is an American company that has prided itself on taking the moral high ground. On doing the right thing. When in fact executives at the company had actually tried to cover up scandal pretty much since the day it landed in their inboxes.

Walmart issued a press release with the following closing remark:
“Walmart is committed to doing the right thing and we are working hard every day to become an even better company”.

Americans. I’m worried. I’m worried Walmart could suffer. Stores could be closed. Employees laid off. Our world couldn’t handle it. Worse than all that. I couldn’t handle it. The reason this scandal is important is because it shows how fragile our universe is. Just imagine for a moment…

What Would We Do Without Walmart ?

1. Amazon would own everything.

2. Where Will We Go To Play Pranks On The Unsuspecting.

3. Where Else Will We Steal Our Socks.

4. People Might Start Making Meth In Houses Again.

5. Most importantly We Won’t Be Able To Buy Affordable Caskets.

And while bribery sucks. Imagine a world without Walmart. It isn’t pretty. The lines at Target would be unbearable. And I’m not sure UPS could handle all my orders from Amazon.


Let’s hope Walmart get’s this mopped up real soon.

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  1. Kris's Gravatar Comment by Kris on April 22nd, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    Hahaha! It’s funny when the largest employer in the U.S. — with a history of organization busting, pushing our standard of living to lows not seen since the New Deal, and now bribery — has yet another scandal. Let us all laugh and continue rearranging the Titanic’s deck chairs.

  2. David's Gravatar Comment by David on April 22nd, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Nothing to see here…. Hey I wonder if Costco will drop their membership costs now :)

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