Some employers expect perfection, but don’t express that wish outright. Instead, they use phrases like “I run a million miles per hour and you need to run ahead of me” and “non-union, English-speaking plasterer with own tools and vehicle required.” See what kinds of perfectionists you can find in the listings below:
1. Beverly Hills: SEEKING SHARP PERSONAL ASSISTANT
I am a busy, hard working and ambitious business owner. I run at a million miles an hour and need you to run alongside and whenever possible, ahead of me and to make me seem accessible when I am not. I need a right hand person for whom no job is too small or big, who is motivated by helping me build my business, by making my life easier and by making me feel and look like I’m ahead of the game. Please respond with your resume and salary history and expectations.
Please be OK with the fact that you will never be good enough for me.
2. National: CASTING SINGLE MEN: How Quick Can Pick Up A Chick?
Major cable network is casting for a new dating show! Looking for ALL TYPES of SINGLE GUYS. If you think you can impress a girl in 60 seconds — then we want to see what you can do! All TALENTS welcome!
If your friends tell you that you’re a character or the life of the party, then we want to see you! If you score the ladies with a talent, whether it’s fire throwing, magic, juggling, or making them laugh, we want to score you a date with a gorgeous woman!
Are you an educator who can teach a woman some lessons?
Are you a snake-charmer who can lure the ladies with your sexy call?
Are you a wine-expert or Sommelier who can win a woman’s heart with wine?
Can you chug a beer in record time?
Since when is chugging a beer in record time a way to pick up women?
3. Chicago: Help Wanted: Non-Union Plasterers
Non-union plasterers for year round work with a property management company.
Must have own tools, transportation and must speak English.
Please be just like a union guy, but without the union.
4. LA: Stressed Out Salon Owner?
Having issue’s with you salon. Difficulties finding staff,getting client’s into the salon, retaining clients, declining retail sales, these are just a few of the problems that can keep you up at night.
I know, having owned my salon now (6 years) and being a stylist since 1980.I have dealt with it all. I am now offering my services as a salon consultant,educator,trouble shooter.Let my experience help you.
Please send a email or give me a call for more information.
You need a copyeditor.
5. CA: $10,000 SIGN ON BONUS HVAC
Leading commercial environmental mechanical Service contractor is seeking experienced HVAC Technicians with 6+ years of Commercial experience.
Guaranteed 40 hours per week we are never slow!!!
10,000 sign on bonus Excellent Compensation and Benefit package including medical, dental, vision, 401(k) with a match, paid holiday and vacation pay, New van………….
You know times have changed when HVAC technicians are the only people getting signing bonuses anymore.