Business Pundit

Have you noticed that there are an awful lot of get-rich-quick schemes and odd jobs populating most work classifieds lately? That’s because the credit crunch has bankrupted the nation. But no worries, weird jobs, like soap scum in your shower, always survive. Check out this week’s gems:

1. Maine: Ex-Car Guy………

After 20+ years as a GM in the auto dealership business(top makes), I was able to leave, after 1 month in this opportunity. This is a “cash cow”. For Real!

It’s called my pension, and I took it while I still could, suckaz!

2. San Diego: Tanning Consultant Needed!

Up scale salon is looking for a responsible, out going tanning consultant to add to our team! Salon experience or experience in sales is preferred. Great work ethics is a must! Hours are flexible, Free tanning, as well as base pay + Commission.

Amazingly enough, selling tans in San Diego isn’t like selling iceboxes to Eskimos. Key ingredient: Year-round vanity.

3. Virginia: Need actor for maximum security prison shoot

Looking for an actor to play a prisoner locked in a maximum security prison who receives a desperate letter from his father, pleading for help. This is a short film being shot on 35mm. The prison is abandoned.

Age range is 40-50. Looking for someone who can play a tough, hardened criminal who can display a soft spot as well.

A perfect job for one very special unemployed ex-felon.

4. Maryland: REDUCED RENT for management duties

REDUCED RENT for management duties. Owner looking for a couple to manage repairs, do minor cleaning of common areas and generally attend to tenant needs on site. Usually $1375, your rent will be only $995/month plus partial gas and electric costs for your unit. Water and partial gas paid by landlord.

We are proud to present you with this featured raw deal for property managers, who usually get to live in the property they manage for free…

5. Austin: Sushi Rollers Needed

Duties include:
- Provide excellent customer satisfaction and quality food production.
- Ensure consistency in rolling the sushi roll and interaction with customers.
- Keep the front house dining area, assembly line, and condiment stations clean.
- Learn shelf lives of food products and maintain consistent, timely roll production.

You are the chronic underling to the sushi chef. If you are patient, however, he will take you out back and teach you the way of the samurai.

6. Atlanta: Bulk Mailer

Job will include filing, simple mailings, and general office work.

This position requires an individual that is well spoken, friendly, and has computer skills. Honesty and reliability is required. Self-starter takes direction and able to multi-task.

Be willing to be that anonymous person that everybody curses when they open their mailboxes. Naturally moist tongue an additional asset.

7. Atlanta: Female Foot Models Needed for Catalogue

Seeking 4-6 female models for our bridal catalogue. We will only be photographing from the knees down so cute feet are a MUST!

REQUIREMENTS:
-Models MUST wear a U.S. size 7.5 or smaller shoe
-Models MUST fit sample clothing sizes (U.S. size 2-6)

Please submit image(s) of your feet/legs from the knees down via email.

If you’re a petite man with cute feet, you can apply, too. We won’t tell.

8. Georgia: Social Entrepreneur for Web Research & Organization Development

Looking to start a non-profit organization to help sick persons and others in need and want a person to help uncover what other organizations are already doing similar work/services, learn from them, and develop a plan to create and launch the new organization. Other tasks will involve assisting with publication of an ongoing newsletter in the health field and serving as a personal assistant for the publisher.

* Compensation: $14 an hour

Want to be a nonprofit entrepreneur, but lack the balls? Be my slave for $14 and get experience.

Happy Friday!