Some employers are flexible. Others post job descriptions so unique that you have to wonder how they find anybody at all. Like the family who wants Alice from the Brady Bunch as a housekeeper. Or the woman who needs a manservant with a bedazzled loincloth. This week’s weird jobs let you in on the dark side of specific.
1. San Francisco: Redesign My Raincoat!
I have a snazzy Cole Haan raincoat / trenchcoat, but I just don’t like how it fits. In fact, I dread rainy days, because I feel obligated to wear it (it was expensive), even though I can’t stand how I look in it. I am looking for a fashion designer or tailor, who is willing to redesign it and make it into something I want to wear. I want something chic, hip, fun, and this is where you come in. Make me a proposal for what you can do with my coat, and tell me how much you want to be paid for it.
That’s an awful lot of effort for one snazzy coat.
2. NY: WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO TRY DOG FOOD?
TALK SHOW IS LOOKING FOR men or women who are willing to try new things. If you or someone you know is in the NYC area and please give. we would love to speak with you!
Trying new things is a far cry from trying dog food. But hey, desperate times…
3. Alaska: Need Alice from the Brady Bunch
Professional couple with three daughters (preschool and elementary age) seeking part-time help akin to Alice from the Brady Bunch. Combination of childcare, domestic help (laundry, housekeeping, errands), and meal prep. Anticipate four afternoons a week for several hours a day. Must pass background check, drug test, review of driving record, and have proof of insurance. If interested please respond to this posting with contact information and a summary of your experience. Thanks.
THREE perfect kids, yecch!
4. Miami: I need a tarot card reader TODAY
I am having a get together with girlfriends TODAY. 2pm… on south beach. Approximately 1-2 hours of your services max. Its a tea party that I’m putting together because I never get to see my girlfriends or spend time because of our busy conflicting schedules. I just decided thought that it would be a great idea to have a tarot card reader or a manicurist while we are chatting, or drinking tea. I dont have a HUGE budget, as I mentioned its just a get together and its at my house . For a tarot card reading, very basic, like a 5 card spread that answers one question or something. Please let me know your quote or rate. I am expecting 10-15 girls, not all will want or need services but I want them to have the option. Thank you in advance.
On-demand tarot reader…could be a new market niche there.
5. OR: Man-Servant Needed
Look, I’ll cut to the chase. I just need some help around my house. Duties of a man-servant include, but are not limited to the following:
– Daily trash removal
– Back rubs
– Daily cleaning of litter boxes
– Sponge baths
– Preparation of lights meals and snacks
– Gratuitous compliments about how great I look in my penguin pajamas
In addition, a man-servant will have to be able to handle the following:
– Watching me dance around (without pants on) to show tunes
– Wearing a bedazzled loincloth while performing chores
– Occasional sexual harassment
– The sound of a whip cracking
Salary is negotiable and bonuses are available depending on how special you’ve made me feel by the end of the day. If you’re interested, please contact me as soon as possible.
I wonder how many boyfriends she had to go through to figure out that she needed to hire a servant.