This Week’s Weird Jobs

Image: .A.A./Flickr

If you have hideous feet, no acting skills, and a chronically dry mouth, you can’t do most of this week’s weird jobs. But if you’re gullible, there is one opportunity for you to get swindled–err, spend a month in a job and hit it big:

1. Maine: Ex-Car Guy………

After 20+ years as a GM in the auto dealership business(top makes), I was able to leave, after 1 month in this opportunity. This is a “cash cow”. For Real!

It’s called my pension, and I took it while I still could, suckaz!

2. Virginia: Need actor for maximum security prison shoot

Looking for an actor to play a prisoner locked in a maximum security prison who receives a desperate letter from his father, pleading for help. This is a short film being shot on 35mm. The prison is abandoned.

Age range is 40-50. Looking for someone who can play a tough, hardened criminal who can display a soft spot as well.

A perfect job for one very special unemployed ex-felon.

3. Maryland: REDUCED RENT for management duties

REDUCED RENT for management duties. Owner looking for a couple to manage repairs, do minor cleaning of common areas and generally attend to tenant needs on site. Usually $1375, your rent will be only $995/month plus partial gas and electric costs for your unit. Water and partial gas paid by landlord.

We are proud to present you with this featured raw deal for property managers, who usually get to live in the property they manage for free…

4. Atlanta: Bulk Mailer

Job will include filing, simple mailings, and general office work.

This position requires an individual that is well spoken, friendly, and has computer skills. Honesty and reliability is required. Self-starter takes direction and able to multi-task.

Be willing to be that anonymous person that everybody curses when they open their mailboxes. Naturally moist tongue an additional asset.

5. Atlanta: Female Foot Models Needed for Catalogue

Seeking 4-6 female models for our bridal catalogue. We will only be photographing from the knees down so cute feet are a MUST!

-Models MUST wear a U.S. size 7.5 or smaller shoe
-Models MUST fit sample clothing sizes (U.S. size 2-6)

Please submit image(s) of your feet/legs from the knees down via email.

If you’re a petite man with cute feet, you can apply, too. We won’t tell.

Happy Friday!

Written by Drea Knufken

Currently, I create and execute content- and PR strategies for clients, including thought leadership and messaging. I also ghostwrite and produce press releases, white papers, case studies and other collateral.