This Week’s Weird Jobs


Has anyone ever accused you of being a nitpicker? If so, take heed: You can actually put that trait to use professionally. As, well, a professional nitpicker. Read below to see what that entails:

1. San Francisco: Nitpicker wanted
Looking for someone based in San Fransisco to remove lice and eggs from people infected with lice. Qualified candidates should have valid driver’s license, great close up eyesight, feel comfortable going into people’s homes, be personable, good with children, and extremely detailed oriented. Squeamish people need not apply. A good sense of humor a plus! A background check is required, and references will be checked as well. To be considered, all applicants must include where they live, and what times and days they are available. Travel is not paid for. No Weekend Only please.

Driving is a large part of this job, and the longer you are willing to drive, the more you will work. Driving is unpaid. You can set your own hours, and choose when you work, but should be available at least a few hours every day. No 9-5-ers looking to start work at 6 pm, as children often go to sleep at 8. We will train qualified applicants. This is an independent contractor position. Training is in Los Angeles. Training and travel to Los Angeles is unpaid and can take anywhere from five to ten hours.

This job would be for supplemental income. Great job for stay at home moms looking to make extra money.

Candidates who apply out of sheer desperation will be strongly considered.

2. New York: Seeking Entry Level Talent for Company Expansion

Our marketing firm has an aggressive expansion plan mapped out for 2009 and need entry level talent to start in marketing & sales and develop in our management training program.

Here’s who we want:
1. The loyal employee who got laid off and doesn’t want to put himself at the mercy of a big corporation’s bad decision-making again.
2. The waitress with terrific people skills who doesn’t know where to begin her career but knows that waiting tables isn’t the long-term path.
3. The stubbornly-ambitious professional who knows they want to do more than their peers – achieve success and fulfillment – but needs direction on how to get there.

Here’s what we promise:
1. You will be pushed to your limits and challenged to be at your best consistently.
2. You will have a tight-knit team environment that supports your learning and directs your progress.
3. You will work with clients who have an increasing need for a company who delivers big-time results in a cost-effective manor. That means Growth opportunity for those brave enough to take it in a culture based on integrity, teamwork and no seniority.

If you interview with this company, at least you can be honest about a) getting fired, b) having no direction, or c) being relentlessly Type-A.

3. New York: LOOKING for people suffering from DEPRESSION (COMPENSATION OFFERED)

Looking for people who are suffering from depression to participate in ongoing programs at their facilities. Specifically, we are looking for individuals who are currently taking depression medication and are not experiencing any positive results. Participants will be given free medical treatment with commonly prescribed and marketed anti-depressant medication by doctors who are internationally recognized to be at the top of their field.

There is monetary compensation for this program, please inquire.

To those who have unsuccessfully tried all the anti-depressants on the market: We probably can’t help you.

4. PA: Female Smokers Needed

Female smokers needed for photo shoot and phone interview. No nudity. Feminine women age 20-35, any height, weight less than 140. Please forward images, phone number and the brand that you smoke.

Must not be concerned about your face ending up in an anti-smoking campaign.

5. DE: Motherhelper

I am looking for some one who could help me around the house in after school hours 3-4 days a week. Please reply to this email, if interested.

Motherhelper = Nanny + maid + babysitter + whatever I want you to be, because I made up the job title.

Happy Friday!

Written by Drea Knufken

Currently, I create and execute content- and PR strategies for clients, including thought leadership and messaging. I also ghostwrite and produce press releases, white papers, case studies and other collateral.