This Week’s Crazy Jobs

This week’s weird and wonderful gigs appear to be veering towards the medieval,
with meat packers, hay stackers, dog tenders, and sea captains making the cut. The egg donor, automotive tester, and hacker positions, however, bely the fact that it’s 2008, not 1488…

1. Alaska: Meat Packers

I need meat packers/camp helpers for the fall moose season on the Alaska Peninsula. RT airfare paid from Anchorage.

Big biceps and tolerance for blood required. We will not be held liable for destruction caused by angry moose family members attempting to retrieve their slain kin.

2. Santa Cruz: K-9 training facility Helper

Part-time person reliable. 20 hours per week or more. Lots of cleaning and walking and moveing dogs around. Also Farm animimals Chicken and Birds. Must like animals and not have fear of dogs.We are a Family Dog training Facility.

Specific duties: Let dogs out. Scoop poop. Walk to dumpster to dispose of poop. Let dogs back in. Shovel chicken turds. Repeat.

3. Wasilla: Hay Stacking

We will be picking up hay out of the fields and need good strong help. This will be the week of Monday Aug. 4th. Pls. email.

Needles not included.

4. The World: Security+, Hacker, only the best

I need only the best in the world.

Do you get paid peanuts?
Make over 7 figures in 7 months!
Can you hack ?
Can you beat a hacker at his game ?

If you know the best a fee will be yours!

Note: Fee derived from hacked credit card numbers. We do not insure you against arrest, but we guarantee notoriety among 14-year-olds.

5. NYC: Loving Couple Seeks Model Actress for Egg Donation, High Compensation

I am one of the luckiest men in the world! I am with a woman who is a deep soul, a stunning beauty and I adore her; nothing would make me prouder or us happier than to have a family.

We are both professionals, are financially stabile, extremely comfortable; we lead a healthy and active life; we give back to the community however we can.

Our ideal donor is perhaps a model or an actress and must be as follows:

Tall: 5’8 minimum and thin;
Blond or Light Brown Hair, Blue Eyes;
College Educated;
Healthy Family and Healthy Lifestyle;
Creative or Musical Talents (proven artistic ability).

We realize that all egg donors are beautiful of heart but we can only consider those donors who are beautiful both inside and out.

High Compensation offered.

We only accept egg donors whose ovaries are located very near to the surface of their skin.

6. Long Beach, CA: Automotive Test Drivers

Kett Engineering Corporation, a 55 year old automotive testing company is in need of experienced and skilled drivers to work at our German customer’s prestigious automotive technology center in Long Beach, CA. Immediate openings available for Project and On Call Drivers.

This is an ideal position for people who love to drive and are true vehicle enthusiasts. Duties for these very interesting positions include test driving and evaluating prototype test vehicles on “real world” durability test routes developed around the Southern California area and completing detailed written reports on theses vehicles. 8 hours per shift. M-Su.

Note: We do not compensate you for speeding tickets.

7. Coloardo: Beware of This Guy!!!

He uses different names and emails! This guy will tell you a story and a half and in the end something comes up,cancels plans and sends you a check and then wants you to cash the huge check, keep $600 for no work and send the rest to lord knows where OUTSIDE of the country. Stay away!

Driver wanted
Reply to:
Date: 2008-07-30, 9:50PM MDT

I need a driver
* Compensation: $600

I will keep my eye out for This Guy, in his many guises.

8. Mexico: Sea Captain

Sea Captain…Retire in Mexico and work with us on Ship/ Inn. Small Investment. Full or part time participation. Hot Summers. Contact us for more details.

Retire and work on the sea during hot summers. Or not. Your choice. We’ll take your investment regardless.

Happy Friday!

Written by Drea Knufken

Currently, I create and execute content- and PR strategies for clients, including thought leadership and messaging. I also ghostwrite and produce press releases, white papers, case studies and other collateral.